News

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Study Proves Lefties Victims of Handicap

A study released today by UB's Center for Cognitive Science Research has determined that left-handed people display significantly lower intelligence levels than right-handers.The study, conducted over a three-year period involving over 5,000 subjects ages 10 to 65, utilized various IQ, reasoning and logic competency tests to determine whether left-handedness affects intelligence."We're not trying to say that left-handers are dumb, just that they are dumber than the norm," said the study's founder Dr. Michael Schroeder, who specializes in hand rehabilitation.On average, the left-handed people who participated in the study scored 40 percent lower on the competency tests than right-handers.

Crime Spikes After Bulls Games

University Police announced Tuesday that a surge in post-game crime after UB sporting events is directly related to an increase in parking tickets handed out in 2001-02.The announcement comes after a season in which muggings, car break-ins, and vandalism were rampant after the conclusion of both football and basketball games.Attendance at both UB football and basketball games increased this year, resulting in an all-time high in the amount of cars parked on campus after usual class hours were over.

Greeks Fill Putnam's with Lively Conversation

The Putnam's food court teemed with members of UB fraternities, sororities and two men's varsity athletic teams for several hours Tuesday, dominating the central dining area.The group occupied most of the food court tables, dividing itself largely by gender and Greek insignia.

New Courses Make Life Worth Living Again

A long-standing student complaint - boring classes and tedious professors - is, at last, being addressed by the University at Buffalo."Classes like 'Flirting' will not only entertain students and keep them awake, but they'll also be invaluable to the student, both during and after the collegiate years," said Kerry Grant, vice provost of academic affairs and dean of the graduate school.The new courses, available next fall, range across four or five departments and cover topics such as: Academic Bluffing (APY 501); Sowing Dissent (COM 501); Basic Deathmatching (CSE 496); Flirting (ATH 401); and Vices 1, 2 and 3 (UGC 501, 502, 503).After informal studies showed student dissatisfaction with current course offerings, the administration decided to follow a less traditional solution."We sat down and talked to target groups, tried to get a feel for what the students wanted," said Dennis Black, vice president for Student Affairs.

Liberal Arts Courses Make Chicks Like You

Sometimes I'm hanging around with my friends and one of them will be like, "I've gone, like, almost four months without any girl action, man."What are you supposed to say to something like that?

"Fair Dominated by Pity, Contempt, Loathing"

Last week's Career Fest 2002 was not a hot bed of the smiles and handshakes of twenty-somethings landing their first "real" jobs, but rather characterized by strong negative emotions of pity, loathing and contempt.

Ask a Loud-Mouth Sabres Fan

Dear Loud-Mouth Sabres Fan:I broke up with my girlfriend of three years six months ago and haven't been on a date since then.

On-campus Bar Proposed

Administration officials proposed the construction of an on-campus bar at the Faculty Senate Executive Committee meeting last Wednesday, touting the effort as a solution to the oft-repeated problem of drunk driving among college students.

Tyson to Fight Mesi at Alumni

UB Director of Athletics Bob Arkeilpane knew he hit the jackpot when he attracted EPSN 2's "Friday Night Fights" to Alumni Arena for a Friday April 5 bout featuring Buffalo favorite son Joe Mesi challenging 31-year-old New Zealander Keith McKnight in the main event, an event that sold out in record time.Well, that pot just got a whole lot sweeter.

Letter To The Editor

Gregory Haynes, who ran as an independent NYSSA delegate, would like to thank his supporters as well as congratulate the Results Party on its sweeping success.

Buffalo's Quest for Financial Security

It's no secret that the city of Buffalo is in the midst of a financial crisis. It's also no secret that the suburbs of Erie County, home to UB's North Campus, are among the wealthiest in the state, as well as in the country.Several representatives of Erie County and Buffalo city government met in a forum for discussion of the city's fiscal state Wednesday sponsored by UB Law School's Progressive Law Society.

Goldberg's Guide to Macking

Oh, spring break. That time of year when college students veg out for the week with sweet alcohol in some tropical paradise where the sun shines bright and the bikinis come into full view.I have some advice that may come in handy during your week of total ecstasy, guys.

Correction

An article in Monday's issue of The Spectrum, "OT Meets PT Under One Roof," incorrectly stated that the departments of exercise and nutrition sciences will merge into the new department of rehabilitation sciences.

Office Hours

Office hours: the block of time that professors are mandated to be available to assist students outside of class.

Teen Parent Sentenced to One Year in Jail

"Lunch with the Leaders"" Draws Commuters"

Commuters received a double treat Wednesday: a free lunch, and a chance to talk with UB administrators.

"Office Hours Provide Feedback, Frustration"

Physics professor Frank Gasparini does not understand why more students do not attend office hours.

Zero Tolerance

When two students marched into Columbine High School outside Denver, opening fire killing 13 and wounding 20 before committing suicide in April 1999, schools around the country reacted by instituting uncompromising zero-tolerance crackdowns on dangerous or potentially dangerous behaviors.

The Results Are Back

For the second year in a row, the Results Party has overwhelmingly swept all Student Association executive board and New York State Student Assembly positions, defeating the opposing the UB Students' Party by a landslide margin.A total of 2,001 students participated in the election and tended to vote on strict party lines.

MAC Championship Dates Circled for Callender

When I sat down to interview UB's junior track and field veteran, Jenelle Callender, it was evident that she is extremely competitive and flat out fast.