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Jim Hofher's Day Off

It has come to the UB Department of Athletics' attention that Jim Hofher, coach of the Bulls football squad, has a blemish on his permanent record that could prevent him from ever coaching again, while also leaving question marks on next year's season.Failing to correct this manner would have the Bulls coach walking on thin ice.According to Todd Grimes, Xavier Middle School physical education teacher, Hofher failed 7th grade gym class due to an outstanding number of un-prepared's.


NEWS

Community Assistants Suspended for Indecent Behavior

Following the firing of three community assistants in Flint Village for attending a Halloween party last semester, three more CAs have been fired in Hadley this week for using curse words and engaging in open-mouth kissing.Marc Farmington, Rachel Trops and Will Harvey were let go by Director of University Residence Halls and Apartments John Endicott on Monday."This kind of behavior is not what we expect from our CAs," Endicott said.


NEWS

UB Institute for Lasers Develops First Fetus-on-a-Phone

Billy goats, hold on to your socks.UB scientists from the Institute for Lasers have bypassed the cloning fad and left Dolly in the dark, using their lasers to create the first-ever fetus with a phone attached to its ear."Well, you see, we used our lasers," said Laser Professor William Hung, head scientist of Fetus-on-a-Phone."It was actually a mistake," Hung said.


The Spectrum
NEWS

Shaking in Their Boots; UConn Basketball Dreads UB

After glancing at the schedule for the Huskies' 2004-05 men's basketball season, UConn head coach Jim Calhoun had to rub his eyes and look again.He took a second look, but what he saw on tap for November 20, 2004 did not disappear as he had hoped."There it was, the Buffalo Bulls visiting the UConn Huskies," said Calhoun.


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Sidelines

CrewIthaca's Cayuga Lake was the setting for the first crew meet of 2004 for the Buffalo Bulls, and despite the poor weather they endured, the team still managed to snare five of eight races from host Ithaca College and Marist College.The Bulls found great success in both Novice Eight races, as Buffalo was able to come out with the win in each race with Ithaca and Marist going two and three both times.With a concoction of a both varsity and novice rowers, UB's Lightweight Eight squad was able to edge out Ithaca in a one-on-one race for the third victory of the day.Rounding out the contest were the victories of two of Buffalo's three varsity four boats.Track and FieldSteve Esler of the UB track and field team had a standout performance at last week's Florida Relays where he blew a school record out of the water in the decathlon event.Esler's 7,019-point total easily passed the former record of 6,662 points, which was set by Matt Streng in 1999.Despite the fact that Esler only finished first in one of the ten decathlon events, he was able to claim victory overall with the help of five second place finishes.


NEWS

Leveling the Playing Field

I'm not one for arguing social politics. A more cool-headed person might mentally gather facts and statistics to rebut her opponent's argument during a debate, but I find myself envisioning brutal ways I can silence my opponent forever and save the world from his or her asinine point-of-view.But while most other forms of corruption seem to be allowed in the political arena, murder is not.


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Scoreboard

BuffaloW. TennisFriday:Northern Illinois4Buffalo3Saturday:Western Michigan7Buffalo0SoftballSaturday:Buffalo2Western Michigan1Saturday:Miami (Ohio)4Buffalo2Sunday:Miami (Ohio)1Buffalo0Local GamesBuffalo SabresFriday:Buffalo5Pittsburgh1Saturday:Buffalo2Pittsburgh2


NEWS

Presidential Candidate Removed From Assembly; Poor Attendance Cited

Timothy Kelly, the Ascension Party's candidate for SA President, came under fire on two fronts this weekend as he was removed from the SA Assembly and scolded by members of the Men's Crew Club for falsely claiming membership in the group.In response, Kelly said he was the victim of a political alliance between Adam Sherlip, the Assembly's speaker and Elevation Party candidate Anthony Burgio's campaign.Sherlip notified Kelly of his removal by e-mail on Friday.


NEWS

Bulls Drop 1-0 Decision on Sunday

The UB Bulls softball team competed in a three-game series against the Miami of Ohio RedHawks this past weekend, and could only muster one victory out of three games.After Sunday's 1-0 loss to cap the series at the Miami Softball Field, the Bulls are now 10-14 for the season and 1-2 in the Mid-American Conference after winning only one game against their conference in foes in the set.Miami hurled the Bulls a four-hit shutout with the combined efforts of pitching teammates Courtney Salmon and Jackie Poggendorf, putting Miami at 9-16 and 2-1 in the MAC.The third inning was the setting for the lone run in Sunday's contest.


NEWS

"At Annual India Night, Rhythm Reigns"

With 18 acts of song, dance, comedy and fashion, UB got its own taste of India Saturday night as the Indian Student Association held its annual India Night at the Center for the Arts.The event kicked off with the singing of the Indian and American national anthems.


NEWS

Buffalo Law Review Honors First Woman Surrogate Judge in Erie County

Among an eclectic group of UB alumni, professors, students and administrators, The Buffalo Law Review honored UB graduate and professor Barbara Howe Friday night for recently becoming the first-ever female surrogate judge in Erie County."Judge Howe is a true academic, as qualified to be a professor as she is a judge," said Britta Lukomski, managing editor of the Law Review, the student-run journal that hosted the event.


The Spectrum
NEWS

Political Debate Cancelled for Many Reasons

In response to the letter in the March 25 issue of The Spectrum titled "College Republicans Look for Public Explanation for Cancelled Debate," I, as the targeted figure, feel that I am obliged to respond to what should have been a private matter.I canceled the Wednesday debate between the College Republicans and Democrats for a number of reasons.First, the hope among our group was that this would not simply be a debate exclusive to two political entities, but rather an exchange of ideas among groups such as the NAACP and not just partisan war between Republicans and Democrats.


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