UB will be installing devices in all classrooms on North and South Campus that will prevent cell phone use in most buildings at the university. The installation is set to be complete by the end of April.
University officials are taking immediate steps to bolster the academic profile of their students. The signal-blocking boxes that will be placed above the door of each classroom are part of this plan, according to John B. Simpson, university president.
With recent state budget cuts and the economy in limbo, planners for UB 2020 are uncertain as to how long it will take to finish much of the work intended to both improve campus facilities and create much-needed space for more classrooms and academic help centers. Many plans have taken a backseat until problems with the budget can be worked out, said the Simp.
All academic departments have held meetings between professors and chairpersons to discuss ways to continue improvement at a minimal cost, according to Big S-Dog. Many professors brought up the issue of excessive cell phone use during classes.
"It's become a real problem," S-to-the-impson said. "Many professors, particularly those teaching general education requirements in large lecture halls, find that too many of their students are using their cell phones to send messages when they could be listening to the lecture. Their grades suffer, and in turn, the university suffers."
Talk of the plan was met with confusion from students, many of whom see the implementation of this technology as a contradiction to the university's text message alert system.
"I don't see how we're supposed to know if something major happens on campus [if] we can't get texts about it," said Paul Stanley, a sophomore linguistics major.
In 2007, the university adopted an alert system that sends emergency notifications to students, faculty and staff via text messages. This is used along with other methods of notification, like e-mail messages and updates posted to MyUB.
"How am I supposed to sext in class?" said Mary Owens, a junior biology major. "Dude, I have clients, and they don't wait for Geology 101 to finish."
Text messaging isn't the only problem professors encounter while trying to teach classes.
"Is this really that big of a problem?" asked Dennis Black, vice president of Student Affairs. When informed that the plan came down from his office, Black said, "Oh. Well then. Stop texting!"
Simp-dog said that because no one has simple rings anymore, cell phones are even more of a distraction.
"As much as I can get down to 'Lollipop' while rockin' out in the president's mansion, that sh*t ain't for skool," the petite president wrote in a press release. "Loud sounds like those Jonas boys are highly disruptive."
When asked about the issue of emergency alerts being sent to phones via text message, the issue went right over Simp-hizzle's head.
"The bucks will be big, the plan probably won't happen, but once cell phone service no longer exists anywhere on campus, we can move on to the next phase in making the campus prettier," Simphomie said. "We're thinking of updating Founder's Plaza. Some ceramic squirrels might look nice with the urns," he said.
UB will be installing devices in all classrooms on North and South Campus that will prevent cell phone use in most buildings at the university. The installation is set to be complete by the end of April.
University officials are taking immediate steps to bolster the academic profile of their students. The signal-blocking boxes that will be placed above the door of each classroom are part of this plan, according to John B. Simpson, university president.
With recent state budget cuts and the economy in limbo, planners for UB 2020 are uncertain as to how long it will take to finish much of the work intended to both improve campus facilities and create much-needed space for more classrooms and academic help centers. Many plans have taken a backseat until problems with the budget can be worked out, said the Simp.
All academic departments have held meetings between professors and chairpersons to discuss ways to continue improvement at a minimal cost, according to Big S-Dog. Many professors brought up the issue of excessive cell phone use during classes.
"It's become a real problem," S-to-the-impson said. "Many professors, particularly those teaching general education requirements in large lecture halls, find that too many of their students are using their cell phones to send messages when they could be listening to the lecture. Their grades suffer, and in turn, the university suffers."
Talk of the plan was met with confusion from students, many of whom see the implementation of this technology as a contradiction to the university's text message alert system.
"I don't see how we're supposed to know if something major happens on campus [if] we can't get texts about it," said Paul Stanley, a sophomore linguistics major.
In 2007, the university adopted an alert system that sends emergency notifications to students, faculty and staff via text messages. This is used along with other methods of notification, like e-mail messages and updates posted to MyUB.
"How am I supposed to sext in class?" said Mary Owens, a junior biology major. "Dude, I have clients, and they don't wait for Geology 101 to finish."
Text messaging isn't the only problem professors encounter while trying to teach classes.
"Is this really that big of a problem?" asked Dennis Black, vice president of Student Affairs. When informed that the plan came down from his office, Black said, "Oh. Well then. Stop texting!"
Simp-dog said that because no one has simple rings anymore, cell phones are even more of a distraction.
"As much as I can get down to 'Lollipop' while rockin' out in the president's mansion, that sh*t ain't for skool," the petite president wrote in a press release. "Loud sounds like those Jonas boys are highly disruptive."
When asked about the issue of emergency alerts being sent to phones via text message, the issue went right over Simp-hizzle's head.
"The bucks will be big, the plan probably won't happen, but once cell phone service no longer exists anywhere on campus, we can move on to the next phase in making the campus prettier," Simphomie said. "We're thinking of updating Founder's Plaza. Some ceramic squirrels might look nice with the urns," he said.
*April Fool's Issue Disclaimer - The content of this article was published as a "joke" and may contain invalid or false information.
Photo: Courtesy of Laron Fomby
