Let’s be honest, sex education in the United States is well… not great. With 39 states and the District of Columbia having a requirement to focus sex education on abstinence, it’s hard for young adults to gain a comprehensive sexual education, which can follow them into college and their adult life.
So, let’s go back to the beginning and highlight some of the key things to know they should have — but probably — didn’t teach you in school.
There are many forms of birth control
The term birth control can have a lot of different meanings — it is not just a pill. The term itself is synonymous with contraceptives and refers to several different types.
Abstinence — the act of willingly refraining in sexual activity — itself is a form of birth control. By choosing not to have sex, you are effectively preventing yourself from getting pregnant.
Aside from abstinence, there are hormonal birth control and non-hormonal birth control options, that each work in their own ways.
Hormonal birth controls work by releasing synthetic hormones — estrogen and/or progesterone, depending on the type of birth control — into the body to prevent ovulation. These options include a once-daily pill, a weekly patch, vaginal rings, the Depo-Provera shot, arm implants or hormonal Intrauterine Devices (IUD) — a small device inserted into the uterus.
Non-hormonal birth control options include copper IUDs, spermicide cream or gels, fertility awareness, withdrawal (pull-out method) or barrier methods. Barrier methods include traditional condoms, internal condoms, diaphragms or cervical caps — both a reusable silicone cup inserted into the vagina to cover the cervix — or sponges, a disposable foam device also used to cover the cervix.
There are also permanent sterilization methods to prevent pregnancy, all of which involve surgery such as vasectomies and tubal litigation.
Efficacy is different depending on the different types of birth control. Many types of birth control — primarily hormonal ones — have an efficacy rate of above 90% with perfect use.
How to prevent — and treat — sexually transmitted infections
Sexually-transmitted infections (STIs) are another risk that come with having sex, and they are more common than you’d think. The good news is, like pregnancy, you can do your part to protect yourself from them.
Traditional condoms, internal condoms, dental dams — a thin latex or polyurethane barrier that is used during oral sex — and abstinence are all methods that can be used to protect yourself and your partner(s) from obtaining an STI.
Getting tested for STIs is extremely important. It is recommended to get tested annually — once a year — if you are under 25 and sexually active. If you have multiple partners or are engaging in unprotected sex, it is recommended to get tested every three to six months, though many do so before being with a new partner. STIs do often have symptoms that come with them, but many people are asymptomatic — which makes it extra important that you get tested even if you think you’re in the clear.
There are many different types of STI tests, and which one you get often depends on your symptoms or what STI the doctors are looking for. The options include a urine sample, a cheek swab, a blood test, fluid sample from skin sores, or a discharge or cell sample — typically from the reproductive organ, anus, or throat.
What they don’t tell you in school is that many STIs are easily treatable if caught in time. There is no shame in having one as long as you get tested, treat it and tell your partner(s). The most frequent STIs are treated by taking antibiotics or antivirals.
For prevention of the human papillomavirus (HPV), there is a shot that is recommended to individuals before they become sexually active, but can be administered after and is recommended to those up to age 26.
Another STI to be aware of is Human Immunodeficiency Virus (HIV), which develops into Acquired Immunodeficiency Syndrome (AIDS) if untreated. While traditionally associated with queer men, anybody can contract or pass HIV/AIDS. HIV/AIDS has no cure and lasts in the immune system for life. There is a medicine to control and prevent complications with HIV, known as Antiretroviral Therapy (ART). There are also prevention medications that can be taken, the most popular being preexposure prophylaxis, also known as PrEP. Prevention medications are an option to consider if you are at high risk of HIV/AIDS exposure and can be prescribed by a physician.
Sex is different for everyone — and some people don’t like it at all
Sex is a personal experience, and everyone has their own different likes and dislikes.
For some people, sex is a dislike entirely. Asexuality is its own spectrum and includes having no sexual desire, very little sexual desire or conditional sexual desire. There is nothing abnormal about not being as interested in sex as someone else.
The internet is also very split in half on what is “normal.” Some people will lead you to believe everyone is having kinky, crazy sex and it’s “weird” if your sex is vanilla — another word for traditional. The other half will tell you you’re “weird” if you show interest in things outside media norms.
The truth is, there is no normal. Sex is about finding out what you like — alone or with consent of your partner(s). It is supposed to be a pleasurable, enjoyable experience for all parties without judgment.
Sex is not supposed to hurt
This is a very — very. — common misconception. Many people believe sexual intercourse, particularly vaginal intercourse will hurt when done for the first time, and sometimes after that. Guess what? That’s not entirely true!
What is true is that whether it’s your first time having sex ever, with a new partner, or in a long time, there may be some discomfort that should subside quickly. This can come from certain positions as well as the introduction of friction to the area.
There are tips to help the discomfort; this includes diaphragmatic breathing, using lubricant, and allowing time to warm up — often done through foreplay.
There are times where the slight discomfort doesn’t go away and sex is painful, which is called dyspareunia. There are plenty of different reasons that this may happen, from emotions or psychological factors such as trauma or stress, to vaginismus or conditions such as endometriosis.
There are ways to combat this as well, including pelvic floor therapy exercises, desensitization therapy, or sex counseling.
Regardless of what they taught you in school, sex is a natural, normal act that some people choose to engage in. If you do, the most important thing is that you are educated before you go into it and take the proper precautions to ensure it is enjoyable for you and your partner(s).
Izabella Ducato is the Editor in Chief and can be reached at izabella.ducato@ubspectrum.com
