After listening to Soulja Boy's debut album Tellem, listeners will understand why some trends in music just shouldn't be followed.
No matter how many times a song plays on the radio, sometimes it's necessary to step back and recognize that the rhymes in question may be worthless. At the very top of this list of terrible yet perplexingly popular songs is Soulja Boy's single "Crank that (Soulja Boy)."
If all it takes to get record deal is a cool dance and a cult following, then what happened to Jon Heder's deal after Napoleon Dynamite?
What listeners get, in this case, is not even in the ballpark of what was paid for - there is not one, single positive thing that can be said about this album.
Tellem starts off with an intro that gives listeners a taste of the self-proclamation and insanely irritating repetition that is the lyrical extent of every song to follow. Unfortunately, it's also by far the best track, only because the rap artist doesn't actually repeat its title, "Intro," over and over, a common trait in most of the other tracks.
It becomes painfully obvious that Soulja Boy just can't rap. He's either laying down a repetitive chorus, or spewing a list of incomprehensible and droning words in the verses.
The level of unoriginality and unwaveringly formulaic song writing here is appalling. Lil' Jon has more variation in his lyrics than Soulja Boy.
Comprised of simplistic melodies, Soulja's music sequences rival his lyrics in annoyance. Minimalist tendencies can be respectable and interesting if done right. In this case, it just sounds lazy.
As far as the content and inspiration of his lyrics, Soulja Boy is most often rhyming about one of three things: hoes, clothes, or his insatiable urge to dance. Degrading tracks like "Booty Meat" and "She Thirsty" are tasteless and unwanted.
In particular, the third song on Tellem really takes the cake for sheer idiocy. "Sidekick" is a song about his T-Mobile phone.
At one point in the track, he actually draws attention to the fact that he's aware that rapping about a phone is pure piss, which of course makes it excusable, right?
"I can't believe I'm rapping 'bout a phone/But what you won't believe is that I wrote this song," sings Soulja Boy.
We can't believe you wrote that song, Soulja Boy.
Music fans should have the dignity to expect and demand more from these conglomerate record labels than what one gets from artists like Soulja Boy, who profits off mocking the music scene.
Photo: Courtesy of Laron Fomby
