Jim Hofher
The UB head football coach is facing a boycott from the National Writers Association for "never saying anything useful," according to association head Rodney McKissic.
Hofher has long been notorious for dodging difficult questions with long-winded answers about everything other than the topic at hand.
When asked if the allegations were true, that he, in fact, purposely says nothing at every press conference, Hofher had this reply:
"When I go in there for a press conference, I need to do the things I need to do to be successful," Hofher said. "I give 110 percent and take it one question at a time. It's all measured in the intangibles, and we'll re-evaluate those as the season goes on. Right now we're just trying to focus on the things we need to focus on in practice, and hopefully that will translate to the game. One game does not make the season, the season is like a string of pearls, and each pearl is different, and that's where babies come from."
The legendary Monday Night Football commentator is heading over to Iraq to bring America its war coverage. The "Madden Cruiser," Madden's personal bus, was seen Sunday reporting from the border between Iraq and Jordan. Today the indestructible bus is on its way to Baghdad.
"John is a master of the telestrator, and this season's MNF ratings were pretty good, so why not send him over to kick some Iraqi butt," ABC's Al Michaels said. "I'd rather watch John analyze the war than these boring reporters who get all freaked out just 'cause one bomb fell somewhere in their zip code. Those other guys keep repeating themselves. If there is one thing John knows how to do, it's say the same thing 50 times a night without sounding repetitious."
"I am really looking forward to doing something far more serious than football," Madden said. "Yesterday, boom, there were explosions, and bam, gunfire, now my adjectives make sense."
Alpha Sigma Phi captured both the beer pong and flip cup events at the first day of the Fraternity Olympics held Sunday night at an undisclosed location.
"This is a proud night for our fraternity, we drank so much and still ... now I'm going to get your mom ... one time this guy threw me out and his buddy ... and then my girlfriend was ... Ed, get away from the stairs ... let's go throw stuff at people from the balcony," Matt Buckley, one-half of the winning beer pong team, said in a drunken haze.
The events continue this week. Wall jumping, hazing and running from the cops are considered the most popular remaining spectator events.
Photo: Courtesy of Laron Fomby
