I can haz chick lit?

I'm not taking any literature classes this semester and that makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside.

As an English major, I've taken a plethora of literature classes over the last four years, and my problem is not with the classes themselves. I've had some really great professors and I've read some fascinating stuff.

But they would be a lot better without all the other students.

The problem with these classes is the obnoxiously large number of pretentious ramblers who raise their hands all the time and think that each point they make is automatically brilliant because it's coming from their mouth; the people who say something like, 'This reminds me of something Virgil said…,' or my personal favorite, beginning each sentence with, 'Um… I thought this was really interesting because…'

This reminds me of the fact that nobody cares… which is really interesting because I think you should keep your mouth shut and stop wasting my time. Unless Virgil said it to you personally, keep it to yourself.

The problem with these pseudo-scholarly types is that they aren't limited to literature classes. Every student that reads a classic these days thinks he's some sort of connoisseur of great literature.

A few semesters ago, I met a girl from another school, a friend of a friend. After asking her some questions about her major (music), she asked about mine. I told her that I was an English major, at which point she proceeded to gush oh so poetically about her intense love for Faulkner and how she'd read everything he'd ever written. I'm pretty sure she started name-dropping literary devices into the conversation.

My response?

'I read one of his stories in a class once, I think. It was alright. I really like The Princess Diaries series, though.'

I read chick lit, not to be ironic or to give my brain a rest, but because I genuinely enjoy it. My favorite is The Art of French Kissing by Kristin Harmel. I read Twilight. My all-time favorite book is a little paperback called Ella Enchanted that I'm pretty sure has a middle school reading level, and Harry Potter? He's cooler than you.

I do read the likes of Jane Austen and Oscar Wilde in my free time just for kicks, and yes, I enjoy Shakespeare, but only the raunchy comedies. Outside of the classroom, I don't touch the tragedies with a ten-foot pole. I can appreciate their significance, but they aren't exactly what I'd call fun reads.

Reading nothing but James Joyce does not make you look smart, it makes you look like you have no interests or you don't know how to search through a library.

Don't ignore something or deem it beneath you just because it isn't a highfaluting classic. A lot of the books we read in English classes were considered to be frivolous or outright banned when they were first published, anyway. If you ignore something because it's not an accepted 'literary classic,' you're limiting yourself and shutting yourself off to the possibility that you'll find something you actually like, which is the exact opposite of the point in classes that encourage you to stretch your mind and consider the possibilities.

And in the meantime, put your hand down.

E-mail: kms82@buffalo.edu