FML

On Sunday, an overweight man almost died in my arms as he shat all over himself. Thanks, life.

There's humbling...and then there's that.

Don't get me wrong. I strongly believe that every kid, well off or not, should have a regular job and interact with the common folk. It'll knock you off your high horse and not only give you a glimpse into what life is really like, but it'll help you accept and get along with people you'd normally look down upon.

With that being said, I've had enough. Sure my job fits my schedule and helps fund my way to collegiate and economic mediocrity, but I need out like Rihanna from Chris Brown and his hammer fists.

I'm a nice guy; really I am. I've grown to accept and respect so much during my tenure as the resident bar back and hydro ceramic technician at the Red Brick Inn. My humility is strong. His pants were so full.

As I was summoned to the bathroom where an overweight man had fallen and lost his ability to get up, I kind of figured my day was headed towards the toilet. While my manager Dennis skipped out of the tiny restroom because his nerveless knee forbade him from getting low enough to hoist up this mountainous man, I was left with this large lump- his eyes rolling into the back of his head, khakis turning a darker shade of brown-grasping for life in my arms.

I honestly thought he was going to die in my arms.

After receiving a little help from another bar-goer, I was able to get this fallen giant back on his feet. He was able to make it out of the bathroom and back to the bar.

Promptly late, the owner, who Dennis left the bathroom to call, strolled downstairs and joked about what happened. He then made me clean the stooled stool.

At this exact moment I thought, "FML." And if you don't know what that means, give it a check out on Urban Dictionary.

I can't do this anymore. I can't give all of this potential and prowess to meaningless, unskilled labor. In one semester, my indentured servitude ends. Reality bites. Free at last, free at last, thank God Almighty; I'll be free at last!

Consider me motivated. It only takes one man dumping in his drawers while lying in my arms to set my life in motion. There's no more skipping class. There is no more opting out of a homework assignment.

Today, I'm meeting with my adviser. I'm setting up my next and last semester. I'm graduating.

I'm washing my hands of this. I'm moving on. I don't need this... you know.