We're not experts of the NHL by any means.
However, we are fans who care about the game. We watch as a league that once showed so much promise falls beyond NASCAR in the hearts of Americans.
While the league is struggling for a variety of reasons, we've come up with a plan that could bring money back to the league and fans back to the arenas.
Step 1: Drop the league to 26 teams
With only very few exceptions, the NHL should have never crossed the Mason-Dixon line. Why? Look at attendance. Teams like the Florida Panthers barely have 80 percent of their arena full every year, even when the team shows signs of life.
Because of this, in our "new" league, we've decided to cut the following teams from both sides of the Mason-Dixon-the Florida Panthers, the St. Louis Blues, the L.A. Kings and the Columbus Blue Jackets. Why should the NHL lose money for franchises that don't matter?
Step 2: Shake things up a bit
We're talking about relocation. There are some teams still around after our first round of cuts that have no business housing an NHL team. Instead of giving them the boot, we plan on moving them to cities that live hockey. Now, you'll have teams that matter in places that care. Big names in big cities-a hockey fan's dream.
Oh, and did we mention that Canada needs more teams?
In our league, the Carolina Hurricanes will move back to the heartland of Hartford. There, they will go back to the Whalers, reviving a franchise that thinks that cheerleaders are the answer.
The New Jersey Devils, a team that gets snubbed due to the shadows of its big brother in New York City, will receive love-in Las Vegas. Sin City is a viable place for the NHL-it's a tourist trap that will give families something to do instead of leaving their children in the hotel. Vegas has been eying for a hockey team, and here's the only chance the city might get.
The Tampa Bay Lightning will move from Florida to north of the border. There, they will become the once-defunct Quebec Nordiques, bringing superstars back to a city that should have never lost a team. Imagine Martin St. Louis as the face of Quebec's team-it's magical.
The Atlanta Thrashers, who have a questionable fan base, will move to Portland, Ore., giving the Northwest a team that many thought would be the Buffalo Sabres at one point. This would also cause a great rivalry between teams stuck in Western Canada, but we'll get to that later.
Next, we'd bring love back to Winnipeg. Wayne Gretzky and the Coyotes will move from Phoenix back to their true roots in Winnipeg, becoming the Jets one more time. This will appeal to fans who are hoping for the NHL's return.
Long Islanders, sorry, but let's face it- you don't care for the New York Islanders. Nassau Coliseum is empty and it has no chance for rebirth. Your team is moving to Kansas City.
Lastly, we'll please Jim Balsillie and let him purchase the Nashville Predators, so he can move the team to Hamilton, Ont. While many think this will hurt the fan bases of Toronto and Buffalo, it will in actuality bring excitement back to a dry league.
Step 3: Realign the conferences
To cover up the movement that's occurred, we've changed up the conferences. The Eastern Conference will consist of three divisions-the North, the Atlantic and the Great Lakes divisions. The Western Conference will also have three divisions-the Pacific, the Midwest and the Southwest.
The North division will consist of the Boston Bruins, the Montreal Canadiens, the Quebec Nordiques and the Ottawa Senators.
The Atlantic division will be made up of the New York Rangers, the Hartford Whalers, the Philadelphia Flyers, the Pittsburgh Panthers and the Washington Capitals.
Lastly for the East, the Great Lakes division will consist of the Buffalo Sabres, Hamilton, the Toronto Maple Leafs and the Detroit Red Wings. Yes, we've moved Detroit from the West. Sorry, Red Wings faithful.
For the Western Conference, the Pacific division will consist of the Winnipeg Jets, Portland, Vancouver Canucks, Edmonton Oilers and Calgary Flames.
The Midwest division, on the other hand, will be made up of the Minnesota Wild, the Dallas Stars, Kansas City, and the Chicago Blackhawks.
To finish things up, the Southwest division will be made up with the San Jose Sharks, the Anaheim Ducks, the Colorado Avalanche and Las Vegas.
While we've only mentioned a few changes, they are only the tip of the iceberg. Before the NHL can be respected, commissioner Gary Bettman and league officials need to step down so people that can really care can start the rebuilding process.
Their first move? Take the NHL off of Versus. What a joke.
Photo: Courtesy of Laron Fomby
