This Valentine's Day is all about love and marriage, and no, I'm not referring to the theme song to Al Bundy's life in Married with Children. Instead, I'm simply talking about true love and my own recent experience with the possibility of holy matrimony.
This past winter break, my long-time girlfriend and I began looking at engagement rings for the very first time. In the beginning, I was a little scared when the reality of it all finally settled in, but there was comfort to be found among beautifully crafted bands and pants-kicking price tags.
Living in a society where divorce is common, it's easy to understand why many couples are hesitant to tie the knot. The fact of the matter is that people are just plain scared to get married.
I can understand their fear, but if you truly love each other, then what's the problem with staring statistics in the face and hoping for the best? Many people not only lack the trust required in a marriage, but they even lack the faith and hope that are equally important for success in love.
People tell me all the time, "How can you possibly be thinking of marriage at 21? How can you possibly know that she is the one?"
My rebuttal: "Because we have been through the best and the worst, and I know deep down inside that she is the only woman I will ever truly love."
A few of my friends and colleagues like to roll their eyes and laugh when the topic is raised.
Some people just don't get it.
Just because I'm 21 doesn't mean I'm not capable of making rational decisions, and that I'm not allowed to have a plan for the future. There are people who live for today, and those who live for tomorrow, but I like to consider myself a mix of both.
Do I think about getting married two years from now? Do I think about having our first child a few years later? Do I think about having a fulfilling career, retiring and living out the end of my days with my loving family?
Just color me gray and call me Grandpa Monahan if need be, but I swear to you that there is absolutely nothing wrong with planning for the future. I really wish more people would look beyond tomorrow and see what life holds for them.
If you're in a long-term relationship, this Valentine's Day I want you to look to the future and ignore divorce rates and cheaters. Live for today, live for tomorrow, but start talking about the future.
I'm not saying everyone should get married, have three kids and buy a nice suburban house with a white fence. Not every couple is the same and some people just aren't prepared to settle down.
But I wish people would be less afraid and take more steps toward regaining faith in the institution of marriage.
Nobody says it's going to be easy and nobody says it's going to be sunny each and every day of the week, but that's why you'll never be alone. It's all about being together and experiencing the beauty of life, and sometimes the dreary parts, with your best friend.
Forget what has happened to other couples; they're not you. It's up to you and your loved one to write your own future collectively, and have enough faith that it will last forever, just like the tiny candy heart says.
Photo: Courtesy of Laron Fomby
