As parents fled from the dormitories this Homecoming Weekend, the pale, panda-dating foodie Jim Gaffigan took it upon himself to entertain and elicit laughter from the remaining families at the Center for the Arts Mainstage Theatre.
Gaffigan served up two shows for consumption, the earlier show featured a sold-out crowd ready and eager for jokes about food, being lazy, eating lazily and lazily eating.
And Gaffigan made sure not to disappoint.
Opening for the Sierra Mist commercial alumnus, Rich Brooks took the stage by storm, quickly rushing through the beginning of his material, losing any grip he might have had on the crowd.
One of the funnier moments of Brooks' set came by mistake as he delivered a Freudian slip of epic proportions.
"I am glad I am no longer married. Whoops, I meant I am glad I am no longer single," Brooks said.
Unfortunately, the rest of his set was marred by repetitive set-ups and weak material based around his new marriage.
One particular joke involving his wife and her therapist went far too long without enough punch lines to keep it moving at a decent pace.
In fact, the funniest thing about Brooks was his muttonchops - a set so beautifully cultivated, Civil War veterans would be drenched in jealousy.
Brooks stopped the bleeding when he exited stage left and Gaffigan took the spotlight, effortlessly showing off his dry sense of humor to the anxious crowd.
Grasping the mic, Gaffigan began his set with his classic bi-polar, high-pitched voice narrating his enthusiasm, cribbing a bit from his album Beyond the Pale.
After a few minutes of his alter ego, he began the act with everyone's least favorite sport, bowling.
"If you're sweating while you're bowling, you're out of shape. And if you're out of shape and you're bowling, you're probably a professional bowler."
Fans of Gaffigan were enthused as he stuck to his lethargic roots by coming back to the common themes of cake, sleeping, eating and hammocks.
One particularly funny sketch focused his impressive observational skills on the most under-appreciated people mover, the escalator.
"Why does the hand rail always move faster than your feet?" Gaffigan said.
Then Gaffigan spent most of his act relying on three related topics: bacon, hammocks and Hot Pockets.
Using a bit recently aired on late night ginger Conan O'Brien, Gaffigan affectionately declared his love for his favorite pig parts, drawing roars of laughter.
"You wanna know how good bacon is? To improve other food, they wrap it in bacon. If it weren't for bacon, we wouldn't even know what a water chestnut is. 'Thank you bacon. Sincerely, Water Chestnut III,'" Gaffigan said.
Saving his classic for last, Gaffigan delivered his infamous series of rapid-fire Hot Pocket jokes that erupted the crowd into a frenzy of knee-slapping joy.
"I've never eaten a Hot Pocket and then afterwards, been, 'I'm glad I ate that.'"
Interspersing epitaphs with the classic Pockets jingle, Gaffigan's food-inspired humor brought belly-aching laughs to the packed house of the CFA.
Despite a forgettable opening act, Gaffigan's sluggish brand of humor delivered enough laughs and smiles to close out Saturday's Homecoming Weekend event.
Photo: Courtesy of Laron Fomby
