The fantasy football season is once again upon us. As the easiest and most convenient fantasy game out there, millions are now in on it. Whether you're a first-timer or a seasoned veteran, there are general rules of etiquette that should be followed in every league.
First off, if you haven't had your 23-round keeper league draft yet, remember that only owners belong in the War Room. Leave your significant other in the car and tell your friend who "really didn't want to do a team this year" to stay in his room and play World of Warcraft. And then ignore his instant messages asking, "how it's going," while you're trying to decide between Braylon Edwards and Larry Fitzgerald (because, of course, it's perfectly acceptable to use your laptop to check injury reports before your pick).
Make sure you have a solid team name, too. Names that mock your fellow owners or use pop-culture references are always encouraged and perfectly acceptable.
Don't feel bad about picking the backups to the top running backs out there. It's a cut-throat, dog-eat-dog fantasy world. If The Quinn Early Army took LaDainian Tomlinson with that coveted first pick but hasn't added his back up by Round 14, then it's well within your right to snatch up Darren Sproles. Tomlinson's not indestructible. If gas prices can go down, so can LDT. And if he does, then you've got tons of leverage on that team and other owners with terrible running back depth (the owners who are reached on Darren McFadden, hoping he becomes the next Tecmo Super Bowl Bo Jackson).
And if someone decides to draft two quarterbacks with the same bye week, make him suffer. Conspire with other owners after the draft and pick up every starting quarterback in free agency. Then trade him Chad Pennington. Actually, if he's going to throw Pennington in there, he might as well leave the position unfilled.
Someone I work with referred to fantasy football as "Dungeons & Dragons for sports fans." I hate to admit it, but he's right. And there's nothing more annoying to seasoned veterans of fantasy football (the equivalent of a Level-40 Dungeon Master) than people forgetting to set their lineups. These guys only play once a week with the occasional Thursday game thrown in after Thanksgiving. No one wants a freebee week and it's a pain for the commissioner to manually set the lineup just because someone else is lazy. Don't be that guy.
I was a frequent violator of this next rule of etiquette. In fact, my fellow owners voted to put the "Ryndy Rule" in place just so I couldn't do it anymore-picking up players during games. The final straw was two years ago when Frank Gore injured his knee. Michael Robinson entered the game in his place and scored two touchdowns. I added Robinson after he scored the first one and all hell broke loose the next day. My league now has a roster freeze from Thursday to Tuesday.
There's no drama quite like a bunch of guys in their 20s who pretend to be in charge of a multi-million dollar team going at it. Follow these guidelines and you're on your way to a memorable year. And if you win it all, it's perfectly acceptable to raise a championship banner at the next year's draft. Just don't Photoshop a team photo to hang on the wall. You wouldn't want to look like a dork.
Photo: Courtesy of Laron Fomby
