After constant badgering from excited students and colleagues, and countless in- class political debates, Professor Timothy Boyd declared to his class Tuesday that he plans to run for the country's high office; President of the United States.
"I just couldn't help myself," Boyd said, when asked of his reasons for tossing his hat in so late in the race. "It's really not so late, you know. I know Tim [Russert, CBS political anchor] from his Buffalo days years ago, so I called him and asked him for a favor."
According to Boyd, the Buffalo born Russert will announce Boyd's self-proclaimed candidacy on a "Special News" feed tonight during the CBS Nightly News (7 p.m. EST) anchored by Katie Couric.
The professor will be running as an Independent and says his platform is not yet finalized.
"You'll have to wait and see. It's going to be a wild ride," Boyd said.
Boyd, over his 19-year tenure at UB, has earned a following of students, a great rating on rateyouprofessor.com (4.7 out of 5 overall quality), and a well-known ability to take inherently boring, tired classes (World Civilizations primarily) and turn them into fun, interesting lectures that keep your eyes open.
It seems all of that history finally pushed him into political action.
"I've been teaching this stuff a long while now and it's obviously very cyclical. You try to ignore that when outside the classroom...try not to let it get you down but it's near impossible," Boyd said. "I've been watching all of this bickering between Obama and Hillary, and I just kind of snapped. I told my family I was running and they giggled. Then I actually sent in my intent to run. Even after that they were still giggling."
Boyd, like Green Party candidate Ralph Nader in recent campaigns, will offer the people another option, hinting at policies oddly similar to the unknown politician Phineas Riley. An Alaskan senator for 24 years (1972-1996), Riley's policies centered on water and ice, spending his entire political career attempting to save seals from water pollution and get an ice machine in every household in Alaska.
"The man was an inspiration," Boyd said. "After I read Ice is Nice, Much Better than Rice (Riley's autobiography) I knew what my political agenda was."
Boyd knows the road ahead will be arduous, but he seems confident in the message he is preaching.
"We know the battle ahead will be long. But always remember that no matter what obstacles stand in our way, nothing can stand in the way of the power of millions of voices calling for change," Boyd said. "We have been told we cannot do this by a chorus of cynics. And they will only grow louder and more dissonant in the weeks and months to come. We've been asked to pause for a reality check. We've been warned against offering the people of this nation false hope. But in the unlikely story that is America, there has never been anything false about hope."
With rhetoric like this at the ready, Boyd is hoping to win not only American's hearts and minds, but ice-boxes as well.
*April Fools Article Disclaimer - This content of this article was
published as a "joke" and may contain invalid or false information.
Photo: Courtesy of Laron Fomby
