The curse

I am sick of rooting for incompetence. I am sick of rooting for half-assed effort in the front office. I am sick of being out-coached week after week after week. I am sick of saying "We're one year away," because like little orphan Annie said, tomorrow's always going to be a day away. I am a Buffalo Bills fan.

Now it would be easy to blame our second consecutive 7-9 season on JP Losman or Trent Edwards, and even easier to blame it on Dick Jauron. It would be easier still to blame it on Steve "We-won't-miss-you-not-even-for-a-second-good-riddance" Fairchild, but that's not my style.

Anyone who follows Buffalo sports knows the city is cursed; whether it's wide right or no goal, forward lateral or Rob Johnson over Doug Flutie, Buffalo can't catch a break. Where did this all start? Other teams' curses have catchy names. Where is Buffalo's?

Think back to the last time one of Buffalo's major professional sports teams won a title. If you are reading this, you're probably under the age of 25 and can't remember when that was. That team of course was the Buffalo Bills, who won consecutive AFL titles in 1964 and 65, the last two years of the AFL's existence before the Super Bowl came into play.

Now that we've established this, I can present to you the curse of Buffalo: Louis Henry Saban, who served two stints as the head coach of the Buffalo Bills, and both times he bolted for greener pastures. Lou Saban not only changed the fortunes of a football team, he changed the fortunes of a people, an economy, and the general well-being of a city.

This Super Bowl Sunday when ESPN is showing highlight films of all the past Super Bowls, you'll probably see some of Super Bowl XV. And because you're a masochist you may decide to watch it. Blame Lou Saban.

This weekend when, after a heavy night of drinking, you oversleep and miss Nana's 90th birthday celebration, Blame Lou Saban.

This Thursday when you go back to your dorm room and you see your roommate making out with your sister, Blame Lou Saban.

Do you need more proof?

In his first go-round with the Bills from 1962-65, he led them to two consecutive AFL championships, becoming the only AFL coach to accomplish this feat. The next season the Bills were primed to make a run at Super Bowl I; over the past two seasons they had proven they were better than everyone in the AFL and there was nothing stopping them from making a third straight championship appearance.

Except following the second championship season, Saban turned his back on the Bills leaving to become the head coach of the University of Maryland. Since that second championship both the Sabres and Bills have toiled in a twilight zone state where even the great teams just aren't good enough.

Talking to my uncle recently, I learned he is convinced that this team could have beaten the Packers in Super Bowl I, thus changing sports history as we know it. This column would never have been written if not for Lou Saban.

Strike One.

After a one-year stint at the University of Maryland, and four years with the Denver Broncos, Saban returned to Buffalo in an attempt to lead the Bills back to their former glory.

While he didn't do that, he did cement his status as the official curse of Buffalo. What star player did Saban coach during his second stint? OJ Simpson. That's right, Saban has such magical powers that he was able to put a curse on Simpson that wouldn't take effect for over 20 years. Now that's something special.

Saban did manage to make OJ the first 2,000-yard rusher, but he was unable to bring the Bills back to the championship game, so in 1976 he bolted again.

Now here's a history lesson for everyone: what happened less then a year later? Buffalo's booming economy began to shatter when Bethlehem Steel began to lay off its workers, beginning the downward spiral of Buffalo to what it is today.

Coincidence? I think not.

Strike two.

Now anyone who knows baseball, knows that you're not out with two strikes, meaning I need one more piece of evidence before I can officially claim that Lou Saban is the curse of Buffalo.

Who was the coach at the University of Miami who successfully recruited future Buffalo Bill quarterback Jim Kelly to become a Hurricane? That's right, Louis Henry Saban. As if he hadn't done enough to Buffalo throughout his two coaching terms, during his one year at Miami, he had to get his hands on Jim Kelly and put a curse on him that made him one of the all-time great quarterbacks for 18 games per season, yet rendering him useless in the Super Bowl.

Strike three; we have our curse.

From now until eternity, Lou Saban will be known as the curse of Buffalo.

When an Erie County executive launders money, blame Lou Saban.

When Buffalo takes over three years to make a win-win deal to bring in Bass Pro Shops, blame Lou Saban.

By the way, Miami, look out - Lou Saban's cousin is the one and only Nick Saban, who left the Dolphins magically turning them into one of the worst teams in NFL history. Man those Sabans are good.