The brave little toaster

The University Police had the time to pull me over last night for going into the wrong entrance on South Campus, so my question is: Why don't they have the time to find my stolen toaster?

In all seriousness, I don't expect the University Police to spend time looking for my courageous little friend, but it's very cold out and I can only hope that he's found himself a good home.

My brave little toaster was stolen from the 8th floor of Clement Hall last week. Despite posting a threatening note bluffing that my roommate and I knew who the culprit was, clearly this thief wasn't fooled, as the toaster didn't reappear as demanded.

My gut instinct tells me that my toaster was taken not so a fellow student could have a hearty breakfast bagel before class, but rather, for the sheer thrill of the theft.

Currently, the toaster, in all likelihood, is sitting among empty pizza boxes, absorbing the odor of pot permanently entrenched (wrong word?) in Bob Marley Jr.'s dorm room lair.

I understand that college students are sometimes strapped for cash, but who steals a toaster?

The answer is the same as the one students have been asking themselves all week: Who would rape someone in the middle of a crowded parking lot? Who would rape another student at all?

Whether it's something as minor as toaster theft, or the biggest and most reprehensible and morally disgusting transgression on campus all year, the common theme of this semester is that we, as students, are not safe. In any place, at any time, on or off campus, you could be the victim of the next rape, robbery or theft.

Who's to blame? The cops? Other students? The Buffalo community?

The University Police...well it's not their fault. After all, what's more important: student safety or spending money for God knows what in preparation for UB2020? The Buffalo community, despite its sometimes-unwelcome presence on busses between campuses or panhandling in the parking lots near South Campus, doesn't cause much trouble relative to student criminals.

Look at the safety report for yourself. A toaster stolen here, a laptop stolen there. A student receives harassing phone calls, another returns to their car to find themselves the victims of a hit and run. A student is violently robbed, while another is assaulted and raped.

Monday night, when a female student was raped, she noticed a UB parking hangtag in the car of her attacker.

So many, if not all, of these crimes are student-on-student wrongdoings. With no one able to lessen crime on campus, the responsibility falls onto the student body. After all, it's become perfectly clear that there is no one to protect us from ourselves, so the change must come from within.

The next time you see a friend with a toaster that he didn't have yesterday, question it. The next time you're in a car and your driving friend dings a neighboring vehicle, don't sit there in silence. And if you know someone who might be one of the suspects in Monday night's rape, speak up.

If someone were to return my brave little toaster, I would be ecstatic. The student who is sitting in a parking lot on North Campus and knows who is to blame for damages to his car would probably be even more elated. How that rape victim would feel, should some student call up Chief Schoenle and say, "I think I know who did it..." I can't even imagine, but I can bet she'd be happy to at least be able to seek some justice.

You know someone knows who raped one of our fellow students, just like someone knows about almost every crime on campus. People tell their friends, others just see things, and some have the luck to overhear a conversation not meant for their ears.

No one is going to protect us, so we need to protect ourselves. We are the brave little toasters, victimized by other students, and without the help of others, we will continue to be victimized semester after semester.

Take action when you know something is wrong, just as you'd want a fellow undergrad to speak up for you. The next time you see something, say something - it could be the thing that prevents one more rape, one more hit and run, and one more toaster far from home this holiday season.