"I have a really bad roommate. It's only the third week of school and already she is driving me crazy. She stays up all night and sleeps all day. She hardly ever goes to class or does anything, really, which means she is always in our room. I never get a minute's peace. She keeps the lights on when she is on the computer all night, which makes it difficult for me to sleep, and I have 8 a.m. classes. I need just a little bit of time to myself. What should I do?"
-Karen, freshman undecided major
Karen,
Sharing a room is often one of the biggest challenges on-campus students face their first or second year. While it might be the more difficult option, you should really just talk to your roommate. Too often, people let anger and annoyance build up past the point of control. Before that happens, just take a deep breath and explain to her what's wrong.
As far as staying up all night and sleeping all day goes, I've had a couple roommates who follow that sleep pattern, and it's no picnic. Try talking to her and just asking her to turn off a light or two, or keep noise to a minimum - that might be hint enough to let her know she is being inconsiderate.
While it also may be frustrating to never have a minute to yourself, you can't force her to leave the room. If she only sometimes goes to class, try figuring out when that is. Ask her what her plans are for the weekend, or mention different activities going on throughout the week - she might not know about all of the different things going on, and telling her might make her more inclined to get out.
Short of asking her to be considerate, there isn't much you can do to encourage her to be more conscious of the impact her behavior has on you, so take matters into your own hands. If she still considers keeping you up at night, consider purchasing a large tapestry (New Age Creations in the Boulevard Mall carries them for a relatively cheap price) and hanging it around your bed from the ceiling so the light doesn't bother you. Look into a single room or moving into a different room during the spring semester if her behavior becomes unbearable.
Your roommate might just be a homebody, but you should still keep an eye out, as these are signs of depression. Freshmen are sometimes especially prone to feeling depressed and melancholy because it's their first time away from home. She might be feeling very alone, so try suggesting getting dinner together, or going to a campus event with her - it may be just the thing she needs to snap out of it.
"My girlfriend is never happy. She says she feels lonely and like she loves me more than I love her, and she says she doesn't like having sex with me because of it. I tell her I love her and I don't just fall asleep after sex; I hold her and (stuff), but I don't what else she wants or how to make her feel better, and it's really making our relationship suck. What should I do?"
Photo: Courtesy of Laron Fomby
