I grew up on action movies. For me, there was nothing more satisfying than seeing one man take on the world single handedly, using every weapon imaginable to inflict over the top, non-stop brutality.
These days, you just don't see these kinds of movies. Action heroes in this modern era are usually paired up with comedians or rappers, taking away from the one-man-army mentality and dumbing down the violence. On top of this, action movies these days are PG-13; they don't have any blood, carnage or cursing. They're the kind of action movies that you can take the whole family to. Quite frankly, there's something not right about that.
The great late '80s and early '90s had a never-ending supply of movies that made this genre great; I call it the golden age. From "Predator" to "Die Hard" and "Rambo" to "Under Siege," action heroes were single handedly kicking ass and taking names
Life expectancy of the bad guys in these movies consisted of about five minutes, and you just knew the main villain was going to die in the most painful and outrageous way possible. So what if some terrorist seeking world domination had a helicopter land on his face, or had Steven Segal break his arm, push in his eye and shove his head through a computer? He deserved it, he was the bad guy. Audiences today are too sensitive, and movie studios don't have the marbles to push those juicy action buttons anymore.
The other day I watched "XXX" starring Vin Diesel. I don't think anyone died in the whole movie. I liked "The Pacifier" better. At least I knew what I was going to get. Who wants to see a bad actor go base-jumping or snow boarding or whatever else Vin Diesel does in that movie? We want to see some guns, and we want to see some people getting wasted.
In "Commando," Arnold Schwarzenegger killed over 150 guys in less than two hours by himself. He had almost 12 lines, and they were all hysterical. Less talk, more action. Sylvester Stallone had beef in "Demolition Man," so he froze the dude in liquid nitrogen and kicked his head into pieces. When The Rock has some sort of problem with a bad guy in his movies, he makes sure they get handed off to the proper authorities.
Filmmakers are concentrating too hard on creating positive role models, forgetting what made these movies so entertaining in the first place. I'm pretty sure "Powerpuff Girls" had more action than "The Rundown." And I don't care if you thought it was funny. If you want funny, go rent "Animal House." The only thing funny in a real action movie should be the hero's accent.
Don't get me wrong, there has been some advancement in the action genre over the last couple years. "Running Scared," "The Transporter" and "Crank" have featured the kind of brutality that the industry's been missing for some time now. Not to mention, Thai export Tony Jaa from "Ong-bak" has got moves that makes Jackie Chan look like William Hung. But the studios just aren't mass producing them like they used to.
I used to go to a Van Damme movie and see a preview for a Stallone movie. Now I go see "Batman" and I get a preview for "Superman." It's not that superhero movies aren't entertaining, it's just that they are geared towards children more than adults. What happened to the man's movie? Where is Chuck Norris?
Despite the emptiness I feel inside, I still have hope. After a decade of failure in trying to create the next big action star (sorry DMX), movie studios have returned to their roots with the upcoming fourth installments of "Rambo" and "Die Hard." Sly and Willis may be pushing 60, but I guarantee they can bring more pain than Ben Affleck or Tyrese combined. Until then, I'll just have to sit back, relax, and get all the simulated violence I need from video games.
Photo: Courtesy of Laron Fomby
