Recently, one of my friends announced her engagement to her boyfriend of three months. As she is the fourth of my friends to slap on a diamond ring, I find myself being a minority in a circle of girls who value their college experience as being that time to find 'the one.'
Today's typical 20-something female is eager to find that special someone to tie the knot with someone to call their own, and build a family with. Today's typical college male is interested in getting the phone number of the hottest girl at his buddy's keg party so that he might consider calling her the following day.
Some women will go so far as to pursue a college degree only long enough to find 'Mr. Degree,' soon after dropping out and becoming nothing more than a middle class version of a trophy wife. Those who don't follow this typical trend and gain the college experience by experimenting and having fun are often labeled by the nuptial-eager as lushes.
In a world where every female is overly excited to tie the knot with Mr. Wonderful (or in many cases, Mr. Not-So-Wonderful, or Mediocre-At-Best,) I present to you a different option: loosen up.
After spending some time believing I too would find my 'soul mate' in college, I realized that if I really did find that someone at 19, not only would I not know what to do with him, but I would be missing out on many experiences not afforded to those tied down by their other halves.
I don't have a problem with anyone who believes they have found the person who completes them and makes them happy at this stage in the game. I just don't like that, for many, it has become the only option - get married or die.
The problem lies in the idea that so many women settle because they believe that being single is the ultimate sin. The organization of Americans for Divorce Reform estimate that somewhere between 40 and 50 percent of all marriages end in divorce, with these rates being even higher among those married at a young age.
In light of these statistics, which only continue to increase as years pass, I would rather be single now and learn some valuable lessons before taking the ultimate companionship plunge than to be hiring a divorce lawyer before I'm 30.
While being happily in love isn't by any means a bad thing, being single affords you certain freedoms most of us take for granted. Sharing a dorm bed every night of the week isn't a pleasant experience for those of us who don't get enough beauty rest as it is. Not having to clear plans with your significant other, or worse, explaining to him why he can't trail along for 'girls' night' is a freedom only those who have made their escape from the semi-monogamous relationship can truly express and appreciate.
There are other benefits to living the single life that those sitting around wishing for a boyfriend to take for granted. Not having to run your plans by your significant other, as well as having more time to yourself, adds to the appeal of the single life for many, as does being able to spend quality time with guy friends without guilt tripping is a definite plus. Likewise, not having to carefully monitor your garlic intake is definitely a huge plus. And two words: no drama. Without the jealousy and agitation involved in most serious relationships, many find their lives are suddenly a lot more stress free. Having a girlfriend or boyfriend is a lot of work - work that most who get into a relationship half-heartedly don't realize, as their significant other screams at them for not having the cash to do something nice for Valentine's Day or battle it out over someone snoring at 5 a.m.
While I don't advocate being with a different guy every night (though if you need to get that out of your system, more power to you), the freedoms to 'try out' different people and see what you really like in a partner is also an opportunity missed out on by those who have been engaged since freshman year.
After all, like many, I don't live with my parents for a reason. Perhaps I live a bit recklessly, but I moved out of my parent's house for a reason. Might as well have some fun while I'm still young, and the things I like to do are still mostly illegal.
This is the time to throw caution into the wind, drink excessively, stay up late, cram for exams, and eat Easy Mac not the time to be trying to build a home. My advice is to take advantage of it while you still can, because sooner than we all realize, we'll be longing for the single life again.
Photo: Courtesy of Laron Fomby
