It was only last September that Jay Leno prompted New York Senator Charles Schumer to write a letter in protest of a comment Leno made in his "Tonight Show" monologue. The comic had said the suspected Lackawanna al Qaida terrorists should stay in Buffalo to "die of boredom."
Saturday night, Leno proved to the packed arena that he was the cure for boredom. Appearing as part of the undergraduate Student Association's Comedy Series, Leno drew much laughter from the audience during his 90-minute act. His wide range of jokes ranged from political figures such as President George W. Bush and Saddam Hussein to comparisons between women and cats, men and dogs, and the elderly.
Sporting a navy blue suit and an American flag pin, the comedian informed the crowd that he was in support of the allied troops in Iraq. But to keep the issue light-hearted, Leno provided his own solution to take care of the Iraqi dictator.
"I'll tell you what we do with Saddam," Leno said. "We send in Anna Nicole Smith, she takes all his money, and he's dead in a week. That's the American way."
He let the audience in on his "little secret" about how to poke fun of Bush in the insecure national climate. He said, slowly, "No jokes now ... As you know ... he's smart now ... That's right."
When Leno took a short pause to have a drink of water, he looked at the particular brand on the bottle. Very unsatisfied with his Evian, Leno said,
"Oh, it's French. I'll pass. Can I get some nice Buffalo tap water?"
Leno received cheers and applause from the audience for his abstination. Shortly after, a bottle of Dasani water was handed to him, to which Leno said,
"Hmm ... it's Italian, close enough!"
After his short drink, he began to talk about the difference between men, women, and the pets they choose. Leno said he is a dog person.
"Men like dogs. It's no wonder. A dog pretends to be interested when a guy is talking ... With a cat, you start talking, they walk away."
The comedian continued, saying men and cats share several characteristics.
"Cats sleep 23 and 1/2 hours a day, eat, leave when they want, and it's acceptable. When the cat finally returns, the woman is so happy. She buys the cat new food and a new dish. A man does that ..." Leno finished the sentence by slapping himself across the face. "Where is my new food and dish?" Leno asked.
Leno moved on to certain problems he has with new technological gadgets, such as DVD systems installed in cars.
"The other day, I found myself behind a van that had one of those DVD players in it. Ever see one of those? I got so engrossed in the movie ... I followed that guy until the end of it. Only when it was over, I realized I drove over two hours out of my way," said Leno.
Laughs and cheers continued as the night progressed. Eventually, Leno talked about issues relevant to the students in the audience.
"Ever go into the supermarket and just stare at their impulse buy products? You have lighters, razors, gum. Well, the other day I saw this five-feet-tall condom display. Honestly, do you think a guy is going to stand in line, look at the display and think to himself, 'Oh, my gosh, I never thought about getting laid,'" said Leno.
Taking his location at UB into account, Leno went a step further. He asked several students what their majors were, pausing slightly before giving his response.
"You there, what is your major? Engineer? So you want to work for Amtrak? Good to see you have everything in control. And you? English major ... I take it your parents speak that language? Biochemistry major ... crystal meth lab? Let me see ... and you? Communication ... so you want to piss all of your dad's money away."
Leno got a loud reaction when he found a pharmacy major.
"Free rubbers!" he exclaimed.
As his show came to a close, he brought up a topic that crossed generations: watching television with your parents. Some students shook their heads, as if acknowledging their familiarity with the issue.
"Ever watch TV with your folks now? It's impossible. I don't even try anymore. ... I was watching TV with my father, and next thing I know is he is asleep. He startles himself awake and asks what happened," said Leno. "I tell him he fell asleep. (My dad responds) 'I wasn't sleeping, Godd--- it. I closed my eyes for two minutes.'"
The audience, however, was anything but drowsy. At the end, Leno received a three-minute standing ovation.
Photo: Courtesy of Laron Fomby
