Building and maintaining lasting relationships can be difficult, and with a break in the academic year fast approaching, couples are faced with the added challenge of continuing a relationship outside of school.
While relationships in college may not be easy, according to Dr. Veronica Lugris, assistant director of counseling at the Richmond Counseling Center, there are steps that couples can take to ensure that the time apart does not become too unbearable.
"Emotions can range from relief to anxiety and sadness at the possibility of the unknown," said Lugris. "For those feeling anxiety I would emphasize that they look at the break as a way to reenergize. Having contact with family and friends reenergizes individuals, which is a good thing for relationships."
Although many circumstances contribute to making a relationship stick, several students have different ideas about making one work.
Terice Barnett, a sophomore mathematics major, and Ronald Archer, a sophomore mechanical engineering major, met at UB and live in different residence halls. Though separated by a bus ride, they say that living on separate campuses has a positive effect on their relationship.
"I like it this way because I feel like I have my own spot to chill and relax, and so does she," said Archer. "It feels good to miss your girlfriend, otherwise it might become boring or you would get sick of each other."
While living a short bus ride away may not be a hindrance, living in separate cities and being apart during breaks over the winter and summer can prove a bigger challenge.
"Long breaks such as winter and summer are the worst. There is so much more than thinking about when I am going to see him, or vice versa, while we are on break," said Barnett. "One of the biggest issues we face is how well can we handle temptation. We all know that is not easy."
While these breaks are ones that couples who are together in school dread, those who have significant others at home welcome them. Susan Van Cott, a junior pharmacy major, considers the breaks in the school year a chance to be with her girlfriend of six months, who lives only 15 minutes away when they are at home on school breaks.
"It's hard for us to see each other during the school year. I have a heavy course load, and she is on the crew team at her school, which takes up all of her weekends," said Van Cott. "So breaks from school have a positive effect on our relationship. We spend a lot of time together, sometimes days at a time."
Van Cott said spending so much time together during breaks makes it even harder to be apart during the school year.
Megan Scott, a sophomore psychology major, also welcomes the breaks for a chance to reconnect with her boyfriend.
"The breaks in school actually help us out a lot. It makes it harder for us to say goodbye when I have to go back, but whenever we have a lot of time to spend with each other, it just brings us closer," she said.
While spending time together helps relationships to grow, Lugris made it clear that maintaining a sense of self is necessary for a healthy relationship.
"Eating well, exercising and continuing to develop other interests outside of relationships is necessary. Individuals must take care that they are not focusing all their energy on the relationship," she said.
Fabian Manino, a senior English major, said he believes that time spent apart is best for both parties within the relationship.
"I'm in Buffalo now, and (my girlfriend) is in New York City. Our relationship is great. We get to see each other over the breaks, and it makes the time together that much (more) special," he said.
Even when time apart is more difficult to handle, couples have their own ways of coping.
"There is a phrase that we say to each other over the break that motivated us both to be faithful," said Barnett. " The phrase is 'we gonna make it.' It might seem corny to others, but it worked."
Her boyfriend feels the same.
"There is always temptation out there, especially in the summer. But temptation is everywhere, in school also," Archer said. "So you have to think, 'How much is this person worth to me? Is she just another trick or is she special?' A relationship shouldn't be ruined from being unfaithful."
A similar idea of love is what makes the separation bearable for Archer and Barnett.
"One thing I believe that works well is that we have pretty good communication and understanding of what the relationship is and where we stand. You must not just be in the same chapter, but on the same page and on the same line," said Archer.
Photo: Courtesy of Laron Fomby
