"What a night, what magic, SUNY Buffalo. I can't believe I'm here. I've always dreamed of playing a room at SUNY Buffalo.
"But then again, I eat my own crap," Triumph, the insult comic dog, said Tuesday night.
Triumph, voiced by Robert Smigel, the creator of the Comedy Central show "TV Funhouse," opened up for Saturday Night Live cast member Jimmy Fallon in two sold-out shows on the Mainstage Theater at the Center for the Arts, Tuesday, April 23, as part of the Second Annual SA Comedy Series.
While most of Triumph's regular jokes pertained to fecal material and sexual humor, he took the opportunity to roast several of UB's most notable figures, including UB President William R. Greiner, Provost Elizabeth Capaldi and members of the student government.
As he displayed a photograph of SUNY Student Trustee George Pape, Triumph said, "He has Charlie Sheen's cool, and Brad Pitt's eyes, and it looks like Luke Perry's sideburns from 1988."
When UB students look back in 10 years, Triumph said, they will all wonder, "Why did he shoot all those people?"
Buffalo's famous lawyers Cellino and Barnes made a special guest appearance on stage to be insulted by Triumph.
"I saw your ad," said Triumph, "and I want to sue you for 30 seconds of my life back."
Triumph sang a medley of songs from his upcoming album, "Songs in the Key of Poop," and in the middle of a musical number, Fallon burst onstage to finish the song.
"I want to raise the level of discourse here," said Fallon, a wiry-haired little man who could have been the poster child for AmVets. Clad in a blue T-shirt, a green button-down shirt and bright red tennis shoes, Fallon almost blended in with his audience.
His set included bits about Troll Dolls, movies, fake IDs, squirt guns and loofahs, as well as a smattering of songs from his upcoming album, The Bathroom Wall.
Fallon, who is in his fourth season as a Saturday Night Live cast member, delighted the audience with 17 impressions during his mock try-outs for "Troll Productions, Incorporated," as he searched for the perfect spokesperson and jingle for the '90s answer to the Pet Rock.
"Remember when dolls used to have moving arms and legs? He doesn't have any pants on. What's the deal with that? You get the doll, you don't even get any pants!" said Fallon in his high-pitched, whiny impression of Jerry Seinfeld.
The 27-year-old native of Saugerties, a suburb of Albany, centered his set on themes familiar to New York college kids.
"My major in college was computer science," Fallon said, and several people cheered from the balcony.
"That's a geek check," he responded.
Fallon talked about roommate selection and the questionnaires filled out to ensure compatibility. "That's such a joke, they want like a Real World episode in your dorm," Fallon said.
"He really tailored his act to the UB and college environment," said Ryan Murphy, a junior majoring in psychology.
One of Fallon's musical numbers, "Idiot Boyfriend," was "not based on personal experience. Maybe," said Fallon. The song, sung in a high-pitched falsetto voice, described the stupidity of a young woman's boyfriend, constantly forgetting his wallet and cheating with her friends, as he sang, "I know what you want, and I know what you need, and I'm going to screw it up, 'cause I'm an idiot, and I'm your boyfriend."
Fallon's gentle mocking of Buffalo was also welcomed by the crowd. Fallon said it was 90 degrees everywhere else and snowing in Buffalo. "Welcome to Buffalo, go f- yourself," Fallon said.
"Tell me if this is true; you're the worst football team ever?" Fallon asked to roars of laughter and a few lonely boos from the crowd.
At the close of the night, Fallon told the audience that he had once been a DJ, but only once, and during that time he came to an important discovery.
"I realized you can sing every '80s song to M.C. Hammer's "U Can't Touch This."
He ended by performing snippets from 20 classic songs from the '80s with M.C. Hammer blaring in the background. The crowd left the auditorium still singing "Come on Eileen."
Ken Zanet, a senior majoring in communication, admired Fallon's non-stop energy and creativity.
"I thought he was an insane, dynamic maniac," Zanet said.