#DeepThoughtsByKeren

Many people ask the question: What's a summer fling? Well, isn't it obvious? It's doing the dirty over the summer. Whether "doing the dirty" means having wild sex or just holding hands, whether it means with one or 100 different people, it's constantly having your mind on your significant other(s) during the summer season.

So why does this differ from the fall, winter, and spring season flings?

The majority of us college students go home for summer vacation and for four months our lifestyles change. For starters, we don't have the stress of exams and essay deadlines so we have more free time. The bulk of our nights are not spent in a blacked-out drunken stupor because - instead of our best friends - we have our parents and siblings to greet us at the door each night.

There are different types of summer mindsets:

1. "I've just spent an entire year in college improving my sex skills. Let me show them off to all of my old high school boys, and maybe my neighbors too, so they can see how much I've grown."
2. "Who needs a summer boy? I never get to see my parents and I want to spend as much time with them as possible. There's no need to constantly be harassed by a boy."
3. "I have a tendency to fall in love with every boy that smiles at me. I don't think I can handle leaving anyone after these four months end, so I'm just not going to get too emotionally involved with anyone. I will hook up with people here and there, but nothing too serious."
4. "I can totally handle a long distance relationship because these were the best four months of my life and I can't even picture myself letting a random boy inside of me ever again."
5. "I have a boyfriend from Buffalo and these four months away from him are the hardest four months I've ever endured in my life, like, ever. Like, even worse than that time my goldfish died."
6. "I had a good four months and I stupidly let myself fall in-like, but I'm realistic and know I can't handle a long distance relationship. Goodbye was hard but staying together might be even harder. I don't know what we are, I don't even know if we should place a title on this; I guess I'll call it an open relationship."

What now? What if you're a number six and you are so totally in like with your summer fling? I don't think any magazine, book or relationship guru out there can give perfect advice because this title is easily the most confusing one a relationship can possess. My attempt at advice: let the good times roll and go with the flow.

Granted, it's going to be difficult. You're going from a quick and easy drive away from one another to a train or even plane ride. You are going to be tempted to set bizarre rules on your relationship. "Let's only talk three days a week and leave the other four to tone it down so we don't get too attached," or things like, "let's just not talk on nights that we're getting with other people."

Don't do this, babe. Just go with the flow.

There will be moments where all you want to do is get into your partner's arms, kiss his soft lips and wake up five hours later to his snores, realizing you both passed out hugging. But you won't be able to.

There will be times when you're attracted to someone else at the bar, and you will kiss him and maybe even bring him home with you, because you are in an open relationship and you can do that. Maybe he will do the same. Will you feel weird about it? Probably. Will you do it anyway? Probably.

There will be nights you feel as if you're losing feelings for him because you're not spending every second with him like you did at home. You will crave that intimate sex he provided you with and just let someone else attempt to make you feel that way.

Then there will be that moment he visits you or you visit him and that will probably be the best weekend of your semester. All of the feelings you had over the summer with rush back to you and you'll realize that this "open relationship" isn't as confusing as you thought. You'll see that the texts, phone calls and Skype dates were good teasers and placeholders, but the real thing is so much better.

Or maybe you won't.

And if you don't, then don't be down on yourself because you gave it a try. Either you were too emotionally involved or you realized you weren't so interested, and that's okay. No matter which turn your open relationship takes, just know you're not alone. These thoughts are normal, this crazy notion of being with someone, but not exclusively, although you may think you like him enough to be exclusive just not right now, isn't so crazy.

Go with the flow, babes, and let me know how it goes.

Email: keren.baruch@ubspectrum.com