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SPACE CAMPUS


???Alumni and long-term UB employees marvel at how the college has grown, evolving into a behemoth among universities with 28,000 students and three vast campuses. In 50 years, the current generation of students will have even more to marvel at and even more undergraduates will enroll when UB opens a campus in outer space.

???John B. Simpson, president of UB and chairman of the Advanced Coalition (AC), said that plans for a future space campus are part of the coalition's way of making sure that UB continues making a bold name for itself long after the current student body has moved on.

???President John F. Kennedy initially assembled the Advanced Coalition, a board of trusted public figures, in 1961 to ensure a connection between the U.S. space program and the nation's developing minds.

???"I know that UB 2020 has only just begun, but it's so nice to be able to envision UB 2060 right now," Simpson said. "We started the AC because we know that not only will UB prosper, but that it will have an impact on the world, and beyond, as well."

???Plans are already being drafted for the structure of the space campus, which will be as large as the entire building that houses Alumni Arena. According to Simpson, even though the pencils have already hit the paper, they are still only exploring the possibility of such a project.

???UB officials have begun working side by side with members of NASA in the most preliminary steps of preparation. David Parker, an engineer at NASA and member of the AC, is interested in the project not only because of the future it could provide for UB students, but because of what it could mean for the United States as a whole.

???"It has been one of our foremost goals and expectations at NASA that in this century, communities will be living comfortably in space," Parker said. "We can be the first ones to do that, and that is monumental. Plus, just imagine the looks on the Russians' faces."

???Though Parker and his fellow American engineers will be soaking up the glory of this pioneering vision, Simpson believes that the space campus will be a great environment for foreign students and that it should help to bring students of different cultures closer together.

???"Imagine, you're far away from home, but so is everybody else," Simpson said. "There is no nationalist agenda in this space campus plan; that's just not what it is about."

???Though UB will be employing astronaut professors and begin teaching classes in space exploration, all students will be allowed to use the space campus. According to Simpson, it will work in the same way as a semester abroad. Due to the sheer size of the facility, hundreds of students will get the chance to live outside the atmosphere each semester.

???"We think all students should get a chance to use the campus, because maybe musicians will find inspiration in the weightlessness, maybe athletes will create new sports and maybe artists will see a vision in the amazing view," Simpson said.

???Students in 2009 will have to deal with the feeling of gravity for now, but in the future, UB students will be tapping into groundbreaking and earth shattering educational opportunities.

*April Fool's Issue Disclaimer - The content of this article was published as a "joke" and may contain invalid or false information.




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