It is a common joke among students at UB during the months of November through March: What's the only thing worse than parking at UB? The answer: Parking at UB after it snows.
While most students probably find the above joke to be uproariously funny, one man on campus does not - UB's plow driver, Jim McKellan.
McKellan is not only the director of the Office of Snow and Ice Removal; he is the Office of Snow and Ice Removal.
"I am sick and tired of hearing snot-nosed kids complaining about the quality of my work," McKellan said. "I am responsible for clearing the snow from more than 40 parking lots and countless roads and access-ways. What do they expect?"
According to university records, McKellan's office did not always consist of one man. Until 1994, the Office of Snow and Ice Removal was actually two separate departments - the Office of Snow Removal and the Office of Ice Melting.
"Yeah, 1994 was last of the good old days," McKellan reminisced. "Me and my friend Sully were in charge of the area around the Ellicott Complex. I figure there had to have been 60 plows operating between the two campuses."
McKellan said the "roof came down on our perfect operation" after the university administration discovered it had mistakenly allotted $50 million dollars per year for the purpose of snow and ice removal.
"Once they realized the mistake, the administration sold all of the equipment and fired the entire staff, except for me," McKellan said. "I like to think they kept me because I was the best, but it was probably because I was making the least amount of money."
Tracy Celestino, a sophomore electrical engineering major, said she was surprised to learn that one man was responsible for plowing the university after snow falls.
"I didn't think anybody plowed at UB," Celestino said. "I mean, like, have you ever tried to park after we get a couple of inches of snow? It's like Antarctica out there. And don't get me started on the sidewalks. They're impassable."
According to McKellan, sidewalks are not his jurisdiction.
"Nope, Norm's in charge of the sidewalks," McKellan said.
Norm could not be reached for comment by The Spectrum.
According to McKellan, a number of factors led to him not being able to do an adequate job plowing and ice melting this year.
"In December, I got a bad case of athlete's foot," McKellan said. "Yeah, real bad case. It was my driving foot. I was bed-ridden for two months."
McKellan said that to the best of his knowledge, the university did not try to replace him during the weeks he was not able to work.
"To make matters worse, in late January, I wrecked my plow trying to plow the Main-Bailey Lot," McKellan continued. "The university wouldn't help me with the costs to fix the truck, because they claimed there was no such thing as a South Campus."
"I have nothing to do with the Office of Snow and Ice Removal," said Dennis Black, vice president for Student Affairs. "I don't know why you guys keep calling me."
The Spectrum also tried to contact President William R. Greiner numerous times regarding the situation, but Greiner was never in his office to receive the calls.
According to McKellan, he made several attempts to set up meetings between himself and the administration with the hopes of hiring a few more workers, but he was not successful.
"I called just about everyone I could think of," McKellan said. "Greiner, Capaldi, Black, Grela, Stephens-Jackson, Paulson, Oliver, Earl from 'Fraternity Life,' nobody returned my calls. Every time I called someone, they were in a meeting. There sure are a lot of meetings taking place at UB."
According to Justin Wetter, a graduate student studying psychology, although McKellan has a tough job, it does not mean he deserves sympathy.
"Hey, I have a tough job too," said Wetter, a cashier at a Mobile station on Sheridan Drive. "If he can't plow all of the roads and parking lots at UB by a reasonable hour, like noon, he should be fired."
Although the weather continues to get warmer and the likelihood of another significant snowfall is minimal, McKellan does not have the opportunity to relax.
"It's time to get out my lawn mower," said McKellan, who is also the sole member of the Office of Lawn Mowing. "I just wish the university would have honored my request to purchase a riding mower. I guess this old push mower will have to do."
