News

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Dandes and Lippes reappointed to UB Council

Two positions that will help shape UB over the next seven years were filled last week when Jonathan A.

Sharing culture and the diversity dynamic

The vibrant Saturday night air was filled with pride as Jambo Africa 2007 celebrated community across cultures in Harriman Hall on South Campus."Jambo" is the word for "Hello" in Swahili.

Pete Wentz whips out his... heart

Alright, it's recipe time. Grab one handful of self-snapped nude photos taken at your parents' house, throw in a couple life-threatening bouts of depression, countless online blog battles, write some songs about it and what do you get?

Schedule

BaseballWednesday: at Canisius, 3 PMSoftballWednesday: at Pittsburgh, 3 PM

Do your part (if you can figure it out)

The University at Buffalo University Council elections are currently underway. Voting began Monday at 9 a.m.

"Violent crime up, cops down in Queen City"

According to a study from the UB Regional Institute, violent crime is high in Buffalo, and police officer levels are low.The recent policy brief, "Violent Crime in the City of Good Neighbors," described the Institute's finding - that Buffalo is one of the only cities found to have both a higher violent crime rate and fewer police officers than the group average.

Club transient and the Nickelback challenge

So this is what the music industry has come to.A few months ago, I hopped into my younger brother's car for a ride."What are we listening to?" I asked."Just some commercial rap from two weeks ago," he replied.My brother wasn't knocking rap in general, but rather what passes for "rap" today.

"No sex, no drugs, just glockenspiels"

The Decemberists could sing the phone book and it would sound good, but it would be more their style to sing the dictionary.

Father-son reunion

Every year when I hear that the first pitches of baseball season are being thrown out, the oldest image that I can remember comes into my mind: sitting in my stroller at the age of two watching one of my dad's softball games in Schiller Park on the East Side of Buffalo.In a few years, after leaving the now gang-ridden area of the Queen City, I would eventually line up in the batter's box and grow an infectious love for sports in general just like my dad did.

All liberals are stupid idiots*

They may look like dimwits and act like imbeciles, but don't let that fool you. They're liberals.

Spectrum Cartoon

"Tibetan exchange program promotes peace, love, savings"

The 14th Dalai Lama has made plans to revisit the United States by participating in a local Foreign Leadership Exchange program, trading places in America with used vehicle tycoon Billy Fuccillo.The program, started by Amherst Town associate director executive vice-chair for information Dennis Black, will launch a new era of learning and peace by August 2007.

"Tip-in reversed, Bulls champions"

Science tells us that it's impossible to time-travel, but try telling that to the men's basketball team.In the midst of one of the greatest final fours in the last decade, the NCAA board of governors ruled that the Ohio Bobcats' victory in the 2004 Mid-American Conference Championship game is null in void, ruling instead that Ohio's Leon Williams' tip-in basket was released after time expired.

Student Life announces new offices in Union

After several expansions in recent years and open office space becoming harder to find for administrators and student groups alike in the Student Union, the office of Student Life - a division of Student Affairs - announced late Friday evening that a new department will soon be opening in place of the current seating outside of Putnam's dining area on the building's ground level.No students were present when the announcement was made.Vice President of Student Affairs Dennis Black told the press that although the new offices are slated for what is now popular student seating, arrangements will be made for the benefit of the entire UB community."Life is a journey, not a guided tour... in conjunction with the Student Association (SA) we will extend the SU theater hours and students will be able to eat and drink in the theater," Black said.Construction is slated to begin Tuesday and should be finished by the start of the fall semester, according to officials.

Sidelines

Betts to declare for NBA draftCalvin Betts, 6-foot 4-inch would be sophomore has decided to forego the remainder of his Buffalo career and make himself eligible for this year's NBA Draft in June.The Rochester native's stock has risen after his successful freshmen year in which he scored just under four points a game, pulled down 2.5 rebounds and had less than one assist.

Spectrum Book Club

"Laying under the ultraviolet lights, you really learn a lot about life."Excerpt from Fried: The Dennis Black StoryBook: Fried: The Dennis Black StoryTheme: Tanning and RegretAbout the Author: Dennis Black is Vice President of Student Affairs and an adjunct associate professor in educational leadership and policy.

'Poops' to be adapted into live action film

It's now official. Director Steven Spielberg, famous for hits such as "Jurassic Park" and "Killer Piranhas 7,"will be directing the big screen adaptation of one of the world's most timeless children's books.For several months, speculation has circulated that Taro Gomi's "Everyone Poops" would make it to the silver screen.

Bulls steer in new sponsor

In a release that has been expected for weeks, the Buffalo Bulls football team announced a partnership with popular Main Street bar, The Steer.

Distinguished Speaker replaced amidst controversy

Growing dissent over the planned appearance of former vice president and environmental activist Al Gore came to a head last week when several students took a proactive stance against a speaker they believed to be "detrimental" to the undergraduate population.

DISCLAIMER

In case the punch lines, tomfoolery and blatant Photoshoping didn't already give it all away, this is the April Fools issue of The Spectrum.