The Bills may be out, but gorgeous football players are still in. Bills Mafia may be grieving another missed shot at the Lombardi Trophy, but that doesn’t mean the big game has to be a big downer.
The Spectrum hit the Student Union and One World Café to ask students which Chiefs or Eagles players will be catching their eye when the two teams duke it out Sunday, Feb. 12 at Super Bowl LVII.
Based on student contributions, The Spectrum presents the Super Bowl’s Top-5 Hunky Heartthrobs:
1. Jalen Hurts (Eagles)
Hurts gives the Eagles an early 1-0 lead in this “Super Bowl” of sorts. When a group of male students in One World Café unanimously selected Hurts as their No. 1 choice, it became obvious what a fierce competitor he is in this game of looks-based superficiality.
“Jalen Hurts is handsome,” Caitlyn Phan, a sophomore biology major, said. “I think he’s cute, just a cute boy.”
“He’s a handsome fella,” Ryan Lott, a freshman civil engineering major, agreed.
This quarterback garnered compliments on everything from his hair to his smile and jewelry.
“[He has] perfect teeth. I like the earring,” Sam Obi, a mechanical engineering major, said. “[He’s] very symmetrical. I love the jewelry. It looks like he’s got some style.”
Meanwhile, Chioma Nweke, a sophomore psychology major, begrudgingly selected Hurts as her top pick.
“Out of what we were given, he is the lesser of two evils,” Nweke said.
Regardless of motivations, Hurts’ certified hunkiness brings home an early lead for Philadelphia.
2. Travis Kelce (Chiefs)
Fortunately for Kansas City, Travis Kelce impresses enough UB students to get the Chiefs on the baddie board. His strong features, beard, deep eyes and pearly whites receive a lot of consistently positive attention.
“It’s definitely gonna be Kelce for the Chiefs,” Obi said. “He’s definitely the best dressed. I like his facial hair. He’s got a nice smile. I like his personality too… the way he conducts his interviews.”
“He has really good teeth,” Cecilia Mak, a freshman pharmacy major, said. “Damn!”
There was one subject of heated debate, however: Kelce’s buzz cut.
“I think he’s ugly. I hate the buzzcut,” Maddy Frost, a freshman nursing major, weighed in. “There’s something else off about him, but I can’t think what it is.”
“He’s just a regular white boy,” Ethan Lysarz, a freshman undecided major, said.
Others like senior psychology major Trinity Folk and sophomore biology major Nicole Le jumped to Travis’ buzz cut’s defense.
“I like it. I like a good buzz cut,” Folk said.
“I like buzz cuts sometimes,” Le said. “It works for him.”
Le’s friend, sophomore biology major Caitlyn Phan, disapproved.
“He looks like a dad,” Phan said.
3. Quez Watkins (Eagles)
Compared to Hurts and Kelce, Quez Watkins was the underdog of the Hunk-lympics. Students appreciated his winning smile and visible tattoos.
“Nobody is giving,” Shayla Peterson, a sophomore public health major, said. “[But Watkins has a] nice smile. He has tattoos.”
“He does have a nice smile,” Dominic Taormina, a junior mechanical engineering major, said.
4. Patrick Mahomes (Chiefs)
To tie the scores up again at 2-2 is Patrick Mahomes, the Chiefs’ quarterback: heartthrob to some, aversive sight to others. Out of all of the Super Bowl’s key figures, Mahomes was the most frequent victim of back-handed compliments and outright insults.
“Objectively Patrick Mahomes is good looking, but I just hate Mahomes as a player in general,” Mak said, reflecting on times that Mahomes was instrumental in taking down her team of choice — the 49ers — most notably in Super Bowl LIV. “He’s still better than Tom Brady.”
“I think he’s kind of cute,” Le said. “I think his nose is ugly, but everything else is fine. I see potential.”
“I like his hair,” Andrea Salinas, a freshman business major, said. “I just don’t like his ears… I like his hair though and his smile, I do. I see it.”
Despite the criticism of his ears and nose, others like Lizbeth Gomez, a junior communication major, were more generous to Mahomes.
“His smile is cute,” Gomez said simply. “He looks nice.”
5. Jason Kelce (Eagles)
Shockingly breaking this nail-biter of a hotness contest is Jason Kelce, Eagles center and brother of aforementioned Travis Kelce. Although often pinned as Travis Kelce’s less-conventionally drool-inducing brother, Jason Kelce held his own in the big leagues.
“I just followed him last night on Instagram and then I saw that he was married and unfollowed,” Autumn Frien, UB Class of 2018 psychology alum, said. “He’s a thick boy. I call them T.N.B.s: Thick Neck Boys. That’s what I’m into.”
Although his physique makes him Frien’s dream man, others appreciated his likability instead of his outwardly burly appearance.
“He’s not hot though. He’s cute,” Ian Pachura, a freshman biology major, said. “He’s lovable.”
Despite the wholesome appreciation for Jason Kelce, some students could not help themselves from landing one last blow on the opposing team.
“All the Chiefs are ugly,” Rebecca Tran, a sophomore exercise science major, concluded.
With a final score of 3-2, the Eagles take the win — at least in regard to superficial attractiveness. Whether their success with UB students will carry over onto the field on game day is yet to be determined.
Alex Novak is an arts editor and can be reached at email@example.com
Alex Novak is an assistant arts editor at The Spectrum.