Being straight at a gay bar

I’m a simple guy.

My ideal day consists of me sitting with my basketball sneakers kicked up on my desk, while I watch sports highlight reels in my Nike sweatpants. How else is the sports editor supposed to act and dress?

I hit the local sports bars on the weekends in hopes of meeting more people like myself. While I’m open to new things, it’s safe to say I’m a creature of habit. I like consistency.

That’s why I was hesitant when my female friends brought up the idea of going to Club Marcella — a notorious gay bar in downtown Buffalo — on a Thursday night.

As a straight guy, just entering a gay bar felt like a threat to my masculinity.

I normally try to avoid appearing hypermasculine — it’s not true to myself nor does it make others feel comfortable — but I initially couldn’t fathom going to a gay bar. But after some more convincing from my friends, I decided to give it a shot. If I didn’t like it, I could at least get drunk and forget it ever happened, right?

But before I even stepped foot in the place, I had to deal with the teasing from my friends who decided not to attend.

“That’s so gay, dude.”

And frankly, they were right. The place certainly was gay.

As soon as I entered Club Marcella I knew I was dealing with a crowd I wasn’t used to. I was initially overwhelmed by people with multi-colored hair, pairs of men making out in the middle of the dance floor and the infamous Thursday night drag show.

As a straight man, I was intimidated seeing this new group of people in a setting so foreign to me. It definitely wasn’t my vibe on paper — I’m used to college bars and frat basements, not whatever this was.

I was uncomfortable, so how did I get myself out of this awkward slump?

I started buying drinks (duh).

After a half-hour of downing Corona Lights, I began to embrace my new environment. And the longer I stayed, the more I realized the parallels between a gay bar and any other bar.

The same rules apply: everybody is drinking and having a good time. There’s music blaring and people dancing. Some are on a quest to meet new people, while others want to stay close to their circle of friends.

No matter what establishment you go to, there will always be the sloppy drunks and there will always be the fun drunks. And then there will be those who have a test the next day and are trying to get home before 3 a.m.

While I was technically in a “gay bar,” I soon found out that a bar is a bar.

Sure, the bartender hit on me, but that’s the fun of trying out a new environment. I was flattered. Did I have to ask two guys to stop making out in front of the urinal so I could pee? Yeah, I did. But after the two men relocated per my request, I realized this was an experience I wouldn’t have anywhere else.

It’s important to understand and embrace other people’s cultures, whatever they may be.

An idea far out of my comfort zone ended up being a highlight of my social life this semester.

All that is to say, don’t be afraid to take risks. It’s OK to go against the grain every once in a while. We need to push ourselves out of our comfort zones from time to time.

A small risk I took on a Thursday night gave me the opportunity to embrace a different culture and meet new people.

It also reminded me of how similar we all are. Even though it’s a gay bar, it’s still a bar at the end of the day. They have the same drinks and play the same music as any other place.

In a world that’s so divided at times, it’s important to remember that we’re all human. It doesn’t matter what your sexual orientation, gender, race or religion may be:

We’re all far more similar than we are different.

Anthony DeCicco is the senior sports editor and can be reached at anthony.decicco@ubspectrum.com and @DeCicco42 on Twitter

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