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Wednesday, May 08, 2024
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True Life: I'm a Sex Columnist

Human rights are being violated in Syria, celebrities are dying of drug overdoses daily, and even here at UB there were suspicions of President Tripathi violating SUNY policy.

Throughout all of these events, there is one topic that seems to continuously get more publicity and reaction than all of the above, and I have had the luxury of writing about this notorious matter for the past semester and a half – sex.

Yes, our society is more likely to click a hyperlink with the word "sex" in it than with the title "Obama," yet people continue to criticize sex columnists. Why?

Because sex has been, and potentially will always be, a taboo topic of discussion. Most people feel awkward opening up about their personal lives. Heck, even I feel uncomfortable disclosing private information. That's why I base all of my columns on friends' experiences and my observations of others' situations.

Our generation is being raised in such a provocative culture – half of the commercials played on television could easily be put in the same category as porn (refer to the Carl's Jr. commercial featuring Paris Hilton). Yet when I make a comment like: "let him stuff you like the cream inside an Oreo," you all blush and proceed to tell me that you will never eat an Oreo again. (Give me a break – there's no way you liked Oreos so much if you're really never going to eat one again, and if my words truly did affect you so immensely, you're welcome for saving you the calories.)

"Writing about sex for college readers can be exhilarating," according to The Chronicle of Higher Education. "Sex scribes – almost all of them women – often become instant celebrities on the campus. But there is scrutiny, too. A young woman who is independent, outspoken, and sexually confident might be seen as following in the hip footsteps of Carrie Bradshaw, the fictional sex columnist in HBO's Sex and the City. Or she might be scorned as sophomoric, a slut with a pen."

Slut with a pen? Please.

I've gotten "IRL troll," "Someone's hitting this?" "We really need someone more physically appealing to write these," and the list goes on. My colleagues even publicly made some of these crass comments toward me.

But I don't let these comments bring me down because at the end of the day, I'm still entertaining, people are still swooning over my every sentence, and I continue to have the most hits on a continuous column in The Spectrum.

Right before fall semester of 2011, I agreed to become UB's first-ever sex-columnist. I expected to struggle while coming up with topics to write about. I expected to be boring. And most of all, I expected my roommate to be the only person to flip through The Spectrum and read my words.

I was totally wrong.

I sat down at my computer and ideas began to flow as my fingers effortlessly typed simile after simile, and there was just pure brilliance on the screen in front of me. When I started getting hate mail and cruel comments, I was confused. I thought I was hilarious, and quite frankly, I was proud of myself for producing these columns despite my lack of experience.

People began to judge me, and how could I blame them? I was writing about a controversial topic and I never once thought of how strongly my words would affect others. Instead of the sex column being something that I did on the side for fun, it became me. People began to recognize me on campus, in my lecture halls, and when I went out at night. After a while, though, I decided I didn't mind the opinions of others so long as I knew who I was deep down.

I'm a hard-working girl with a passion to entertain and to learn. I respect myself, I respect others, and I am not afraid to be a little bit crazy sometimes. After I graduate, I plan on attending law school, traveling the world, falling in love, and getting married.

It's easy to get upset when you're constantly being told that you're "classless" and "gross," but it's not easy to get past the offensive comments, and that is why I choose to put those opinions behind me and continue to produce the columns that are receiving so much attention on campus.

With the constant personal struggles we must overcome, like the death of a loved one, and the worldwide events like Occupy Wall Street, which sometimes affect us so much that our blood pressure rises, it's trivial that we let go sometimes and find something to laugh about. People wonder why sex columns receive more hits than the "more serious" affairs taking place around the world, but isn't it obvious?

The reason is that it's harder to find a column filled with silly advice and clever metaphors that actually relates to our personal lives, than it is to find an article about all of the negative things happening around us.

The world needs a break.

Many college students who spend a majority of their time studying and worrying about where their journey will take them after graduation enjoy a light read about virginity and stage-five clingers at the end of their day more than reading about the anger exploding on the streets of Athens.

The importance of making sure we have enough knowledge about the world around us and a high enough GPA is promoted far too often, while the importance of amusement and foolishness is not encouraged enough.

This is not to say that we should all be apathetic about what's happening in the world around us – it is crucial to be updated on what's going on and to take an interest in politics, the economy, and all that jazz. It goes to say, though, that we are allowed to lighten up sometimes, and the intense amount of hatred that is often sent in the direction of sex columnists is unnecessary.

Dr. Seuss once said: "I like nonsense, it wakes up the brain cells. Fantasy is a necessary ingredient in living."

I truly believe in his words. Creativity, laughter, and entertainment are all essentials in our culture, so it's time to take the sticks out of our behinds, and replace them with something else…(sorry, it was too tempting to throw a sexual reference in there.)

So whether you read my work and then post deliberately hurtful comments under an anonymous alias, or you frame my columns on your wall because they're the funniest words of wisdom that you've ever laid your eyes on, or even if I'm your guilty pleasure and you only laugh about my clever metaphors behind closed doors, my words are receiving attention and promoting discussion – so my goal is complete.

Sex is fun – reading about it, writing about it, and actually doing it; so loosen up, world, because that's never hurt anybody before.

Email: keren.baruch@ubspectrum.com


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