There is a fair number of college students who have enthusiastically followed the adventures of Spongebob Squarepants ever since his cartoon was first aired on Nickelodeon.
From his penchant for fry-cooking at the Krusty Krab to his love of jellyfishing with his best friend, Patrick, to his failed attempts to obtain a boating license to his adorable pet snail, Gary, Spongebob's trademark cheerfulness and optimism have prevailed over whatever trials he undergoes.
It is most refreshing to see a short, yellow sea sponge lunge out of bed every morning and shout, "I'm ready!" during an age in which dry, cynical humor is shoved down the average person's throat.
There will be no such sweet respite for the Spongebob fan in his first movie. Sadly enough, the moviegoer who sees this film without having seen any episodes first will probably never venture to the cherished television catalogue.
It starts out well enough, with some real-life pirates singing the theme song - fortunately, none of them were as annoying as Patchy, the pirate who introduces some of the newer episodes - and the announcement of the grand opening of the Krusty Krab 2.
Spongebob gets a big disappointment early on, when he loses out on the new managerial position because he isn't mature enough to handle it.
"I'm ready ... depression ... I'm ready ... depression ..." he mutters to himself.
The television show is fantastic because it is an incredible blend of sweet, innocent humor, cute characters with whom one can identify and intellectual adult humor, with a minimum of violence and no sexuality. This blend of comedy ends up appealing to young children, pacifistic teenagers, and those slightly overweight, middle-aged men who sport Spongebob T's.
Unfortunately, this movie decides to engage in gross humor and nudity jokes to an excessive level, and thus the few giggles heard throughout the entire movie were from a few pre-teens. In fact, one sees each of the main characters naked at some point, something previously inconceivable, and the violence is almost a constant.
Our sponge is told repeatedly throughout the film that he's "just a kid" and the theme of growing up is emphasized to a near-nauseating extent. After all, this movie is merely trying to get its revenue from individuals under ten.
Enter the irrational King Neptune and his kindly but misunderstood daughter, Mindy. A nice, young girl with an overbearing father? Oh, good, someone for the kids to relate to. These characters are absolutely nothing like the originals, and detract a good deal from the plot.
On a good note, Plankton finally succeeds in stealing the secret Krabby Patty formula, by stealing Neptune's crown and framing Mr. Krabs. Mr. Krabs is sentenced to die - another completely un-Spongebob idea - and Spongebob and Patrick have to travel to the dangerous Shell City to retrieve the crown and save his life.
It is rather interesting to see what develops when Plankton comes out on top, and the changes that Bikini Bottom undergoes. Spongebob and Patrick, on the other hand, have their personalities brutally hacked to bits. Spongebob gets drunk and belligerent on ice cream, and spends a good portion of the movie spewing out one-liners like, "You don't need a license to drive a sandwich."
Spongebob's manic nature (switching from furious to ecstatic to miserable in 30 seconds) is endearing when handled delicately, but it hardly needs to be said that it is not handled well in this movie, and he becomes quite a bit scary at times. His naivet?(c) combined with his genuine desire to do what's right is demeaned in an onslaught of corporate-moral propaganda.
Patrick develops a crush on Mindy and asks her at one point, "Did you see my underwear?"
When she affirms that she did not, he asks, "Did you want to?" leaving fans shaking their heads in dismay.
Apparently, a large amount of Ren & Stimpy animators were called up to produce this film, because the bulging, crusty eyes, pulsing veins, and harsh screams are very reminiscent of that funny, yet disturbing cartoon of the mid-90s. But in the Spongebob movie, the gross humor is out of place and only used to fill dead time.
Not to be a spoiler, but the bronzed, blue-eyed, hairy-chested David Hasselhoff of Baywatch and Knight Rider fame shows up to lend our heroes a hand.
He flies through the water like a speedboat as Spongebob and Patrick yell, "Hooray for Hasselhoff!"
The poor man must be going broke.
All in all, the Spongebob movie is a shameless mockery of a successful cartoon that can make an adult feel like a kid again. There are precious few redeeming moments, and all those involved in making it should hang their heads in shame.
