If successful, a committed, long-term relationship can keep one afloat in turbulent waters, provide comfort and strength when needed or ease the strain of coping with daily stresses. When relationships go sour, however, it can cause additional stress, adding to the daily pressures of college life.
"My ex-boyfriend and I were continually getting into fights; I was losing sleep and worrying for no reason," said Ami Turner, a freshman. "It just got to be too much to cope with."
Research done by Francis Fincham, a psychology professor and director of clinical training at UB, reveals that a constantly tense relationship can cause an increase in blood pressure, cardiovascular strain and alter functions of the immune system.
Fincham is known for his study of intimate relationships, although the majority of his work has focused on married couples and families.
"Given the potential an intimate relationship has to help or harm a person's life and health, it's very important to attend to our relationships, to keep them working as smoothly as possible so that when problems do arise, as they always will, we get through them with as little anxiety, anger and physical stress as possible," stated Fincham in a press release.
Students like Li Lin, a senior communication major, noted that when a relationship starts to fail, other areas of life also suffer.
"When my boyfriend and I started getting into fights more frequently, I noticed that my studies began to drop, and that I wasn't able to concentrate," said Lin. "It took me awhile before I said to myself, 'What's going on?' So we had to sit down and really talk about what was happening between us."
When his relationship is working smoothly, William Wong, a pharmaceutical graduate student who has been dating his girlfriend for two years, finds that an intimate relationship can add more peace of mind to his life.
"We talk a lot, which I think helps us avoid needless arguments. I don't think that my life would be as rich if she were not in it, so keeping things easy between us is extremely important."
Wong feels the most critical factor in his relationship is communication, an attribute Fincham found to be lacking in young couples.
"Without communication," said Wong, "a fight will just result in both parties becoming bitter, and possibly even angrier than to begin with."
Fincham stated that "the number one relationship problem, according to couples and counselors, is communication, but with some help, most couples can improve communication and keep serious problems at bay."
Although students may be aware that counseling for relationships exists, some hesitate to seek help.
"Personally I feel that we should be able to solve most things by ourselves," said Steven Young, a sophomore political science major. "I would just feel weird going to a third party to try and solve any problems I was having with my girlfriend, but I could see how it could help, though, if we weren't talking ourselves."
If relationship problems are not addressed, however, "stress will continue to build and produce problems of its own, sometimes problems more serious than those produced by the original disagreement," according to Fincham.
Students seeking more information or counseling can contact the Psychological Services Center at 645-3697 or by e-mail at psy-psychservices@buffalo.edu.
