When caught in fits of sleeplessness, I resort to the comfort of television. Three a.m. is not really a coveted time slot. Shows like "Little House on the Prairie" and infomercials for new and frightening hair-removal systems continue to dominate.
If the shows are nauseating, the commercials reach intolerable. Advertisements for videotapes of drunken sorority girls riddle our televisions. This prompts me to abandon the TV and try to sleep on my own. Why can't these companies sell videotapes of guys committing stupid acts under the influence for a mere $20? Oh that's right, nobody cares.
Now that spring break is fast approaching, many students will be able to encounter this priceless entertainment first hand, although it'll set you back considerably more than the tape. Judging from the large numbers of orange people walking around campus, many students (or their parents) don't mind fronting the cash.
With winds gusting outside and temperatures you can't leave your dog out in, I began wondering if I too wouldn't exchange gloves for a bikini and inhibitions for memories. It wasn't long before I was done mulling over this question, the answer was clear almost instantaneously.
"No."
Five minutes into this personal contemplation I already had a long list of reasons why I just wouldn't be able to hob-nob with MTV stars and an international assortment of my peers.
Being someone who is self-admittedly prejudice toward irritating people, I'm not sure I'd last a day among drunken, swarming masses under the unforgiving Mexican sun. If it weren't for the heat, the majority of the tourists probably would forget they were in a foreign country. As long as there are free alcohol, bathing suits, Carson Daly and a foam machine, you could move spring break to a field in Kansas.
As long as the chance to "score" is just as favorable it really doesn't seem like anyone would mind. All required is a 5:1 guy/girl ratio and a lot of liquor. It's not like anyone's going to Mexico to explore the ruins or soak in a taste of a strange and romantic culture. No, people are going for the sole purposes of acting like dumb Americans and finding other dumb Americans to do body shots off.
As I rehash these views to my friends, they smile and tell me to lighten up. Spring break is meant for unrestricted fun and questionable behaviour. Why is it I can't see that? By no means am I a goody-goody but I do find myself having to draw a line. Cat calls are one thing, but I have absolutely no desire to be forced to listen to a collection of the most gut-wrenching pick-up lines imaginable or squealing girls who are astonished when someone tries to rip off their see-through string bikinis.
I don't want to check each drink for roofies (which are actually sold in Mexico) or sleep in the hotel hallway because my roommate confused being harassed with "getting lucky."
I'll be the first to admit my spring break is going to be very far from meeting the traditional qualifications of being exciting, but I can handle that. The precious nine days of vacation will be well used. I plan on relaxing and doing absolutely nothing besides regenerating myself. If I get bored, there are close to a dozen books I want to read but haven't because teachers have me reading theirs instead. The last weekend my friends and I will head up to Toronto to have a little fun. While it's not Mexico and it'll probably be colder than Buffalo, it's still another country.
At least when I come back across the border I won't be afflicted with diarrhea because I accidentally drank the water or find the boxers of an Indiana State fraternity boy mixed into my suitcase. Chances are I'll remember everything I did that week and I can rest easy that I'm disease free, even if I don't get a great tan.
