Gay at UB

Over the past decade, the gay rights issue has pushed its way to the forefront of society: in politics, in religious debates, and in the entertainment industry.

Whether you accept it, are apart of it, or want nothing to do with it, we are encased in a diverse sexual environment that stretches from campus to across the country.

Kyle Anderson is not what one would consider the stereotypical gay man. In casual attire consisting of a sweatshirt and faded jeans, he looks more like one of the many students battling Buffalo's harsh winter than a member of the "Fab Five."

"I've actually had people arguing with me that I'm not gay, which is always a very interesting conversation," he said.

Anderson is just one of many students who are living proof that the lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender community can't be taken at face value. With such a diverse range of people making up the non-heterosexual crowd, being gay is no longer necessarily a label that's inclusive of a certain type of person, especially at UB.

Defying the 'gay' stereotype

In Anderson's eyes, the gay community is something that people tend to think of "as a reason for segregation."

"It's not that the gay community formed because gay people are different than anyone else," he said. "It's just where you can go and know you'll be accepted."

Veronica O'Kelley, a junior psychology major, said the notion of what it means to be "gay" or "lesbian" is often pigeonholed into categories.

"Everyone has their stereotypes," said O'Kelley, the club secretary for UB's LGBTA. "People think 'lesbian,' they think lipstick lesbians or man-hating dykes. They think 'gay men,' they think flamers. Though there are people like this who exist in the community, there is still an in-between ground. All anyone ever wants to see are the extremes."

Still, both O'Kelley and Anderson agree that events like the annual drag show or the Day of Silence, in which members of the LGBTA take a vow of silence to show their opposition to homophobia and repression, help to openly promote awareness and make unsure members of the group feel more comfortable.

"It's seeing other people, even if they're different than you, making a stand for themselves," Anderson said. "It's not something that's going to change your mind if you already hate it, but it does bring the subject to people's attention, especially those that are on the fence."

"Who doesn't love a drag show?" O'Kelley said.

Other students who don't feel they fit into the exact definition of gay or lesbian said that openness about their sexuality is oftentimes met with confusion, especially in the realm of bisexuality.

"I think the shock over bisexuality arises from the preconception that, 'you can only like girls,' or 'you can only like guys,' " said Eve, a senior computer science major, who asked her last name not be used. "People are more socially open to trying things out than they were 10 years ago, but there is still that element of surprise when you come out saying, 'I don't just like these people, but these people as well.' "

Many non-heterosexual students consider their orientation to only be one small part of them. Andrew Bernstein, a sophomore economics major who defines his orientation as "going with the flow," says it doesn't have to be an overpowering factor.

"I don't think my sexual preference is a big part of my life at all," he said. "I have so many other interests that define who I am that when I finally get to my sexual preference, I don't think anyone is still even concerned."

Acceptance at UB

Susan, an alumna of UB, remembers with a sting the housing issues that arose during her freshman year in 2000.

"I wasn't out yet, and I was looking forward to being in a more open and accepting environment than my hometown and high school had provided," Susan said. "I met someone I got along with reasonably well, and we planned to be roommates. That is, until I told her I was a lesbian, at which point she wanted nothing more to do with me."

Three years later, Susan randomly ran into her former roommate again.

"Although she was uncomfortable facing me that night, we started spending time together and are good friends to this day," she said.

Such is the experience of many LGBT students, who say that while acceptance of the community at UB is mostly welcoming, there are obstacles.

Mark, a junior biology major, said he feels that being what many consider to be "heterosexual-looking" person can hinder one's acceptance.

"In gay society, it's easy for overtly sexual guys to find somebody to fool around with," he said. "But what about the relatively shy, 'straight-looking' guys like me who just want a nice boyfriend? So far, I feel like none of the gay men I've met, either at school or outside of school, can relate to me."

Mark linked this trouble at school to what he said was division within the gay community.

"There is a huge population of gay students at UB, but I think most of them are cliquey, associating themselves only with each other and with groups like the LGBTA and music theatre and dance departments," he said.

Anderson said that his openness in his role as a Resident Advisor has been a mostly positive experience. He said it also serves a comfort for others who are still struggling with their own sexual identities.

"I actually have a gay resident, so (being gay) was one thing I didn't want to hide," he said. "I remember freshman year it was actually an assistant hall director in my building that was gay. Having a role model like that serves as a comfort when you're coming into such a large university."

Bernstein, who de-emphasized the importance of sexual preference, said that while UB supports the LGBT community, there are still many phobias.

"This campus has a long way to go in terms of full acceptance of non-heterosexual people," he said. "I've had too many conversations with people who believe that homosexuality should just be kept behind closed doors, or that they shouldn't 'advertise their sexuality' by holding hands in public. Yeah, because straight people never show public displays of affection."

O'Kelley faces a different situation. She has been transitioning to a woman since last summer and says she has received great support from the UB community. However, her position has also made it much more difficult to find employment.

"The most difficult part is trying to find a job," she said. "I basically have to go back to being a male five to six hours a day. I'm surprised at the lack of acceptance because I thought that being open and honest with employers would have opened a few more doors than it closed, especially on a liberal campus such as this."

LGBT in education

While UB offers both a major and a minor certificate in women's studies, whose subject matter sometimes overlaps with the concerns of the LGBT community, students interested in pursuing lesbian, gay, bisexual, or transgender issues as a major find the field to be surprisingly scarce.

Ruth Goldman, a Ph.D. student in American studies, said she is one of only a handful of teachers to currently offer LGBT-related courses.

"My department and faculty from other departments have been extremely supportive and encouraging of the classes," she said. "However, I think LGBT students and students interested in LGBT topics are frustrated by the lack of classes offered in this area."

Students interested in the topic, she said, would either have to create their own program or transfer to another SUNY school.

"As far as I know, there is no university-wide curriculum in queer studies or LGBT studies and certainly no opportunity for a certificate or program in this subject area," she said. "I think this is a shocking oversight for a school of UB's size."

Susan Cahn, an associate professor in the history department who specializes in women's issues and gay and lesbian issues, also says that the field of study is stagnant.

"I don't sense that the administration is particularly hostile, but they let the status quo continue," she said. "Compared to other universities, the number of LGBT studies seems pretty low. Gay and lesbian faculty have kept a low profile and seem to be dispersed across a wide area of studies, and I don't know whether there's enough student and faculty energy to pursue it."

Gay at UB

Call up any admissions office at any university and they can tell you all about their diversity, the exact percentage of whites, blacks, and Asians. But what about the gay community? It isn't exactly a question that shows up on the undergrad application.

Historically, the gay community has been difficult for researchers to quantify. In the 1940s, Alfred Kinsey found that 37 percent of the male population "had at least some overt homosexual experience to the point of orgasm," and 10 percent of the population was gay. In the early '90s researchers found differently. One institute reported only 1 percent of American men as gay. Another study pegged the numbers at 1.4 percent for women and 2.8 percent for men.

At UB, gays and lesbians today don't see their position as one of quantity. Yes, a study to determine the size of UB's gay population would be of great interest on several levels, but numbers alone do not define a community.

"Being gay is a small portion of me, but a very distracting portion," O'Kelley said. "I'm first and foremost a student, that's what I concentrate on. I have friends, I'm a child, I do have parents. I believe being gay and being transgender is a part of me, but that should just be a footnote."

Where to go for help:

Counseling Services: Located in 120 Richmond Quad, offers both individual and group counseling. Online resources and advice are also available on http://ub-counseling.buffalo.edu/lgb.shtml. Phone No.: 645-2720.

Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transsexual Alliance: A student-run organization that welcomes people of any orientation. Holds peer-meditated support groups, gay-themed outings and events, and various discussion panels. Located in SU Room 362. Go to http://wings.buffalo.edu/sa/lgba/ for different meeting times and programs.

Your RAs: For those living on campus, your resident advisors are a go-to for guidance and advice.