Decorating your living space!

I was sitting in my cave one day, receding into a pile of dirty laundry and food wrappers, when I had an idea.

Hey," I said to myself aloud, "Why don't I find that pet hamster I lost a couple months ago?"

Pick axe and shovel in hand, I began to unearth the geological layers of debris that had accumulated on the floor throughout the months.

I never did end up finding the hamster, but somewhere in the Mesozoic layer I accidentally began to clean my room instead. The outcome was so refreshingly sanitary and ordered that I devised a list to help others who grapple with the disorder of being organizationally challenged.

1. Set aside several hours for cleaning on a day with as few obligations as possible.

2. Drink some coffee and put on some good music. However, do not spend an hour making a "Cleaning the Apartment" mix.

3. Survey the room. Choose 10-15 of your favorite belongings and put them aside in a box, specifically decorations like framed photos, posters, vases and Captain Planet-shaped bongs. Pick only the cream of the crop?Nthese are the items that you'll really want to flaunt later on.

4. After you've separated your most prized items from the room, break out the Hefty bags. Label one "Good Will" and the other "Garbage." Be very objective in your decluttering process?Nthrow or give away stuff you can't rationalize keeping, especially items you haven't used or worn in over a year. It also helps to have a friend clean with you (or for you).

5. Start organizing big items before managing the smaller items. You can designate a couple shoeboxes for pens or makeup during the cleaning process and put them in a more favorable place after you've tackled larger objects. Focus on your task; do not get distracted by magazines or old journals.

6. Hang up the clothes that survived the elimination process. Put CDs and DVDs into storage. If you find that you have insufficient storage space or hangers, go to the store with only enough money to purchase those items. Too frequently did I come home from Target with even more crap to add to the clutter. The Salvation Army and online garage sales also work splendidly for small organizational furniture.

7. If possible, rearrange your furniture so that there is a clear walking path, a sitting area, a sleeping area, a study area, etc. Even if you live in a small dorm, dividing your space for different tasks makes it feel more like a home and less like a storage lot. There will also be fewer crumbs in your bed.

8. Once you've cleared all surfaces, swept and vacuumed, it's time to bring out that box of prized items. Put them in places you feel would enhance the look of the room. It's alright if the space still looks a little empty afterwards. The idea here is minimalism: give everything its own personal place and allow your favorite representations of yourself to shine in the spotlight without becoming a part of an "I Spy" collage.

9. Get creative! Pick a few of your favorite photos with similar colors or themes and arrange them on the wall or put them in coinciding frames. Just remember not to overwhelm an area. The less posters, the better. Go to homokaasu.org/rasterbator for enlarging and printing your favorite images. If you feel the need for fine art, buy a cheap gaudy painting and attack it with acrylic paint Jackson Pollock-style. I once covered a farm scene in red splatters and called it "Murder in the Countryside."

10. Lamps and Christmas lights are excellent for battling winter darkness. Lamps pointed towards the ceiling bounce the light and give off a warm, yellow glow. Choose a table lamp with an ultraviolet light for when you want to study.

11. Plants are also invaluable tools for brightening a room. Bamboo plants (sold at places like New Age Creations) bring in a dash of green and are pretty hard to kill as long as you don't place them in direct sunlight. Cacti are equally hardy and could soak up as much sun as possible.

Just remember, your living space should be a sanctuary at the end of the day, not another reason for stress. You should be easily able to access the things you enjoy, not wade through a pile of unnecessary clutter.

It's what Captain Planet would have wanted.