Whether you wait with baited breath each week to see who made it on "American Idol," or despise the idea of having to watch snot-nosed children misbehave on "Nanny 911," reality shows are amazing in that they continually push the boundaries of absurdity. Here are a few show ideas that would be even more entertaining.
"Trading World Leaders" - Similar in concept to "Trading Spouses," except that countries trade heads of state. Just imagine: French Prime Minister Dominique de Villepin is ordered by Congress to work at KFC for the week so he gets the "full American experience." Saddam Hussein is released on the condition that he solves the AIDS epidemic in Ethiopia. Trouble arises when the free-spirited Dick Cheney gets a caning in Singapore after sticking bubble gum under the speech podium. Tony Blair soaks up some sun in Jamaica and realizes that most world leaders are just too dang uptight about stuff. This is what happens when countries with very different values walk in each other's shoes...and learn some very valuable lessons.
"Snacks on a Plane" - Because the David Ellis movie "Snakes on a Plane" is already a cult phenomenon and doesn't even come out for five months, Fox could bring in a whole new fan base with the thrilling TV spin-off, "Snacks on a Plane." The premise would be similar to the movie: a vile assassin lets loose a crate full of snakes on an overfilled passenger plane in order to do away with a witness in protective custody, only this time instead of snakes it could be a barrage of allergenic snack foods.
Think of the thrills - unsuspecting passengers go blind from deadly fruit plates. A heroic security guard tragically dies after inhaling minced Saltines. The pilot licks his arm and realizes he's allergic to himself. Get comfortable with the edge of your seat, because with this show you won't be leaving it anytime soon.
Besides, where else could one hear Samuel L. Jackson righteously proclaim, "I WANT THESE MOTHERF*CKIN' PEANUTS OFF THIS MOTHERF*CKIN' PLANE!!"
Another show idea: "Mildly Irritating Flight Attendants on a Plane."
"Handsome and the Wench" - In "Beauty and the Geek," book-smart "Dungeons & Dragons" kids are paired with bodacious but brainless beauties and have to work with one another in order to complete different tasks. "Handsome and the Wench" reverses that concept, pairing suave and tanned hunks whose brains are collectively the size of a peanut (and a deadly peanut at that) with snaggletooth wenches wearing penny loafers and knee-highs, replicating every bar hopper's nightmare: the morning-after beer-goggle epiphany.
"Beer Factor" - The makers of "Fear Factor" can raise the stakes with a bit more money and a lot more booze. Like the original show, competitors will have to complete tasks like jumping from helicopters, walking tightropes strung between moving vehicles, and eating animal entrails raw for a monetary reward. The difference with "Beer Factor" is that the contestants will have to have a BAC of at least .025 while doing it. They may not feel the sting while walking through a room full of agitated bees or understand why people get so tense about jumping off a building, but even the $100,000 prize won't fix the next day. Another catch: no safety harnesses.
Other ideas: "American Bum," in which America gets to vote for their favorite street degenerate each week; "Russ1an Roulette," which is similar to "Unan1mous," except that instead of only one person walking out of the room with a million dollars, only one person gets to walk out alive; "Tyra Photo Hour," in which Tyra Banks says "to hell with 'America's Next Top Model' " and just poses in front of the camera by herself for an hour; "True Life: I'm a Bass Fisherman;" "DIY Plastic Surgery;" "Checking Your E-mail."
Photo: Courtesy of Matthew Messina, from the RMBERS' Instagram page
