THE SPECTRUM REPORTS:

The Spectrum was fortunate enough to seal an interview with Pulitzer prize-winning syndicated political cartoonist Ben Sargent, whose work over the course of the Bush administration has enlightened countless viewers and inspired generations of future leaders to come, even though most of his work is in stereotypical generalities.

S: Welcome, Mr. Sargent. I apologize for the weather. Don't take it personally, Buffalo skies will dump on anyone.

B: It's okay, Ben is used to being sh*t on. Ben appears in no more than six Google hits.

S: Are any of them good?

B: Ben want banana.

S: ...alright then, let's get started. Born into a family that surrounded you with journalism from an early age, it's no wonder that you've managed to accumulate so many awards and honors. What's kept the fire alive in your career these past few years?

B: Ben no like George Bush.

S: Understood, Mr. Sargent. On that topic, it's fairly clear that you take a disparaging stance on our President. He's your number one subject of criticism and disapproval, and draws a majority of your response letters. What do you think he could be doing to better serve his country?

B: Ben hate Hurricane Katrina.

S: I'm glad to hear you say that. Back on topic though, many of your cartoons seem to suggest a certain element of hypocrisy and haphazardness in the Bush administration. What advice could you give to help solve the problems he faces?

B: Durh, durh. Don't know. Ben didn't see this on CNN. Durh.

S: I'm afraid I don't understand. Use your head, man. You were a reporter for five years, weren't you? Haven't you uncovered anything in your research that might benefit the country? Anything?

B: Ben no like overseas war!!

A moment of rest was required to calm Sargent down.

S: ...alright, Mr. Sargent. Is there anything you do like?

B: Ben like Rosa Parks and increased legislative power at the state level. Durh.

S: Interesting, interesting. You're a multi-faceted man, Mr. Sargent. Do you have any advice for budding journalists out there?

B: Ben doubts Ann Coulter could write an opinion column without using the word "liberal" if she tried.

S: Helpful. That's great, really. Well listen, it's been fun, but I have a Bush lecture to get to in two hours -

B: Ben no like George Bush! Durh.

S: Alright alright, damn. Chill out, Sargent. Look, can I get you a banana or something?

B: Ben very grateful. Ben like The Spectrum.