In the era of "work smarter, not harder" attitudes and rapid technological advances, our lives are fast approaching ones of the utmost ease and convenience. But, I have to ask myself, where is the line between inventing easier to use items and becoming reckless fools wallowing in our own sloth? I'm afraid as a society our laziness has gotten out of control.
Case One: Easy Mac. In past years, Kraft Macaroni and Cheese has been known as one of the culprits of the "Freshman 15," right along with Ramen Noodles and Miller High Life. In fact, two million boxes of the yellow-orange pasta are bought in the U.S. every day, according to Kraft's Web site. And now Kraft has found an even easier way to bring your favorite non-nutritious meal straight into your arteries. It's called Easy Mac, and it's becoming the college staple.
In three quick minutes, the average college student can have a luke-warm bowl of cardboard-tasting noodles mixed with powdered cheese. For the record, any dairy product that comes in a powdered form makes me nervous. During the old days, times I like to refer to as the Dark Ages, macaroni and cheese took as long as 10 excruciating minutes to prepare. Many a student died of hunger during those agonizing seconds. Through breakthrough technology and years of research, Kraft has granted me another seven minutes of life - seven minutes that will probably be spent downloading free music from Audiogalaxy.
Case Two: The automatic doors located along the Spine. The small blue square emblazoned with that familiar white wheelchair might indicate to some, that these doors are for use by the physically challenged. And yet, hundreds of times a day, I see kids, who unless they are hiding their handicap, use these doors like it is not only their prerogative, but inalienable right as a UB student.
I've seen students divert their path in order to use a door that opens for them. I've seen those same students push the blue button upwards of three times, waiting for the door to magically open, like the gates of heaven, to let them continue their trek across the Spine. And when Johnny Q. Buffalo and Jane P. Lazy finally give up, their anger and frustration is evident. The audio cues include, but are not limited to the following: huffing, cursing, loud sighing, groaning, and/or muttering under their breath. And rightly so, in this day and age, use of the muscles is obsolete.
Case Three: The Reach Squeeze. I was watching a commercial yesterday, and it got me thinking. It was for a brand new toothbrush, with a spring-loaded handle, that actually does the pivoting for the user. Those "particularly hard to reach" back teeth are certainly set so far into the abyss that is the oral cavity, that we might miss some of them, if not all, were it not for the advent of Reach's new miracle. Even as advocates of dental hygiene, we are becoming lazy.
Has it become too much of an inconvenience to use the brushing motion that we all learned so young, thus requiring the invention of a spring-loaded toothbrush? Are we too lethargic to brush our teeth ourselves? Heck, why stop there? I need a system that's even easier. Let's give up tooth brushing entirely. I can gum my food well enough, especially if I am eating Easy Mac.
Perhaps I am naive, and still believe in the hard-working American ethic we were taught as children. I have always thought that we, as a society, pride ourselves on diligence. Has it been unworldly of me to think that the fruits of our labor are twice as sweet when we have struggled in their production? To what can we look forward, when we take the easiest possible route, and seek shortcuts at any cost? Sadly, hard work is fighting a losing battle.
In five years, will there be an Easier Mac? We can only hope. Perhaps we will simply pour the powdered cheese product straight into our toothless mouths. In fact, we will probably be able to enjoy this meal on the way to class, using both of our free hands, as the doors of life are automatically opened for us. Existence will become utopia. But until that time, I will savor the 10 minutes required to boil pasta, and treasure the arduous task of locating my molars with a toothbrush that isn't equipped with a compass.
