It's overly apparent that most of UB, local students or not, hate it here. There's a myriad of reasons for you guys to hate the Queen City; the barren wasteland that is Downtown Buffalo, Joel Giambra, our casino that looks like it was made by an eight-year-old carpenter with a hearty tin collection and little to no carpentry skills.
But, alas, there is a point. As two boys born and bred in the city of losers, we're here to say that we love our city. Okay, that's a fallacy. We love the city that is South Buffalo - the rest, not so much.
The East and West sides? Totally not going there. We value our lives.
North Buffalo is an undesirable beast with a God complex, all dressed up in fancy clothing and doused in thickly scented cologne. The boutiques, the restaurants, the people, Nichols... they all add up into one big conglomerate of pretension and self-righteousness.
But before you get your Banana Republic chinos in a bunch, think of just whom we're talking about. Do Mommy and Daddy run a firm? Do you walk your prize-bred pooch every morning and let it unleash its hounds on your neighbor's freshly spruced lawn? Do you get crunk in Rumsey Park? Did you go to Nichols and/or City Honors?
We're totally talking about you. Do us a favor and just stop, um, being yourselves. We hate it. And for all intents and purposes, you probably hate yourselves too. Solution?
Go South.
From an outward appearance, South Buffalo fails in comparison to North, and much...well actually none of the East and West sides. We don't have the fancy architecture that embellishes our ostentatious brethren that live and congregate around Elmwood Village and Delaware Park.
We don't have wealthy, corrupt politicians sprinkled throughout our gated communities - at least not the unnecessarily wealthy ones. But for what we lack in the physical and material department, we more than make up for it in the only area that counts: character.
There's no denying that South Buffalo isn't the most ascetically appealing place, but the people that have been born and raised there love it for exactly what it is.
We are a family who adores the idea of it unconditionally. Clearly, not every member gets along, but the pride we have in our unit is stronger than any bigwig or esquire this side of Nottingham Terrace.
South Buffalo is a city with beer muscles. We truly believe that we can take anyone and anything on and come out victorious. Anyone who dares to show up at a South Park or Timon football game and speaks positively of the opposition is going to leave with a broken body and shattered ego.
And when those two teams meet, South Buffalo pride vs. South Buffalo pride, we beat the hell out of each other - all in the name of the same sub-city. That's right, we love South Buffalo enough to beat the pride out of someone else from South Buffalo who feels that they love it more.
Stupid? Yes. Animalistic? Without a doubt. But like it or not, that's love.
Sure South Buffalo has its own little sub-units. South Park kids are the supposed thugs that run amuck and "run" the streets. Timon kids are all white Irish Catholics that drink too much and fight in the name of Labatts and Jackdaw. Seneca kids are, well, dirty. And Babcock? No comment.
We have our hooligans, but even amongst the different mindsets and stereotypes, we all live and breathe the credo of our own little city. It's a mess, but we embrace it.
If we didn't, we wouldn't consistently be able to make the Caz Carnival the dirtiest food and game display this side of the Rally in the Valley. And believe us, that's saying something.
But before everyone reading this goes off the deep end, let us offer some advice. Take what we say with a grain of salt.
Buffalo is physically and economically in horrible shape. There is absolutely no reason that we have the utmost pride in South Buffalo, but now, like always, that pride bleeds through.
We hate our surroundings for what they are, but love them because they're ours. Hate it or love it, we're from South Buffalo and we embrace it. Maybe instead of being an individualistic ingrate, take some pride in your city and collectively make it better.
Photo: Courtesy of Laron Fomby
