EDITOR'S NOTE: The following is a satirical column
I have been to many gorgeous places throughout my life: Saguaro National Park, the National Seashore in Cape Cod, the National Buffalo Wing Festival, but nothing is prettier to me than UB’s North Campus.
Looking at the architecture here is like looking at a graceful peacock. So many different shades of black, gray and even darker gray can be seen throughout the university.
When walking to my basket weaving class at the NSC, I always make sure to appreciate the Alcatraz-inspired architecture here.
People need to appreciate North Campus’ look more. We need 20 more angles of Baird Point to view. We need to showcase the beautiful Ellicott dormitories that make students feel like they are in boot camp.
Things have really been going downhill lately though. A new rainbow walkway was painted between the Commons and Student Union and I don’t appreciate the colors.
If they made the rainbow different shades of beige I think I would appreciate it more. I like a campus that makes me feel like I’m in a 1920s silent film, not Avatar.
I don’t understand what people have against pictures of buildings. I’ve personally never seen a sunset and the dull ‘80s architecture of the campus really brings out the best of one.
My colleague Benjamin Blanchet does not understand the true beauty of our campus. He doesn’t really appreciate the look of a good, concrete-filled, bland building. He doesn’t appreciate the serene green and brown waters of Lake Lasalle, filled with specks of geese feces.
Who really cares about the students at UB? What special things have they ever done for me lately?
I think The Spectrum should create a new “Buildings of UB” Instagram page instead of one for students. On this page, we could ask the buildings important questions like, ‘How are you feeling?’ ‘What major are you?’ And most importantly ‘Is a hot dog a sandwich?’
Do people really care about BoomBox Boy? Or the Barefoot Longboarding Guy? I personally hear more discussion about the beauty of Bell Hall or how great three random pillars look from the (nontoxic) Lake Lasalle.
There are much more important components to this campus than the students. What about the staff? What about the geese and the turkeys who control Flint Road? Why are they never highlighted?
Buffalo is known as one of the most aesthetically pleasing places in the entire world. Our university should be showing off its true beauty. Who can resist looking at massive strip malls, piles and piles of snow everywhere and angry Bills and Sabres fans? That’s what makes Buffalo so special.
Without buildings, where would students learn?
What would be the point of all ten of these parking spots here on North Campus?
Where would fraternities meet to talk about their pledges doing chores for them?
Imagine how a building feels when it doesn’t get the recognition that it deserves. Can a student really empathize with a building and their feelings? No, they can’t.
Nothing means more to me than the architecture here.
Eiffel Tower? Tacky.
The Statue of Liberty? Overrated.
Knox Hall covered in snow and bird droppings? Now that’s architecture.
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