You never know when the question will enter your mind.
How many times have you been in this situation: pants off, condom on, laying on your back ready for his gooey marshmallow to make the inside of your graham crackers complete.
You know he's about to make you feel as if you're in another galaxy and – BAM – the question pops into your head.
What about this situation: you're at a bar, you make eye contact with someone across the room, and immediately you feel those futterflies. Yes – fake butterflies – where the feeling isn't so strong because you don't know the person yet, but the fluttering does exist because in that moment something clicks.
He slowly approaches you and – BAM – the question pops into your head.
No matter where or when the notorious thought enters your mind, it is in your hands to decide if you care about what the answer will be, and whether or not you actually want to ask: "What's your number?"
If this column were to come out 20 years ago, you would probably think I meant phone number; but in this day and age, people know what I mean: your number of sexual partners.
Assuming that you know he's clean and has been tested after his most recent partner, does it really matter how many people he has slept with before you came (pun intended) into the picture?
It depends on the situation.
Many girls feel that guys hold high expectations of the vagina that's about to become the peel to their hard banana. These high standards set by previous freaky experiences and porn can be nerve-wracking, especially for a virgin.
It's understandable for a girl who hasn't had much practice in bed to want her partner to have a low number; this would probably ease tensions and lower her level of anxiety.
Guys want their girls to be good in bed but at the same time they don't want their girls to have high numbers.
"The lower the number for the girl, the better," said Ryan McTigue, a senior business major.
We're young, we're wild, and we're free, so why not go crazy and let whomever you want inside of you, right?
Well that's wrong– because at the same time, we're at the point in our journey where we're preparing ourselves for the rest of our lives, and simply "getting the crazy nights out of our systems," isn't an excuse to portray ourselves as easy and slutty.
John Spivak, a junior accounting major, said that he definitely doesn't judge girls by their number, but he does believe that a high number does make a girl seem less attractive.
There are people that look down upon both sides – guys that prefer a one-night stand to be freaky and sexual, and guys that want their girlfriends to be virgins for a special and intimate first time.
I don't believe that one opinion is superior to the other, though.
Another thing to keep in mind before asking the question: be prepared to be deceived.
"Men multiply the number by two, while women divide it by three," said relationship expert Tracy Kox. "Women tend to attach more emotional significance to sex, and so we might not remember one-night stands, or relationships that weren't significant. If the sex wasn't significant, we won't remember it."
The one thing that I believe to be the worst aspect of the number question is the naiveté of girls when they're lied to. As terrible as this sounds, you have to second guess everything you hear when it comes to sex, because you never know what's going through his mind in the moment that you ask him what number he's on.
If he tells you you're number four when really you're number 10, he probably doesn't want to seem like a man-whore. If he tells you you're number 10 when you're really number four, he doesn't want to seem too inexperienced. Either way when he's not honest, he doesn't respect you.
Make sure you're careful before considering bringing this question up. You don't want to end up looking down upon a partner that you've had on a pedestal, and even more, you don't want your partner to throw the question back at you only to feel judged.
Most of all be safe, be smart, and never lie about your number – it's not worth it in the end.
Email: keren.baruch@ubspectrum.com
