I've played the field; I've done my "walk of shame." I've been that girl that dances with every guy at the club. I've had more guys that I was "talking to" than I could count on one hand.
But I've settled down; I've been tamed for the first time in my life.
I've been in the same relationship now for almost six months – arguably my longest consistent relationship. Though I'm out of that three-month "honeymoon" phase, I still believe life is better with someone by your side.
In college, that's not something you'll hear out of the majority of kids' mouths. Most students are just looking to hit it and quit it; they're looking for a one-night fix to a hole left in their love life – they might not admit it, but all those trials and errors are just steps to being in that one, serious relationship.
So, to counter my colleague, I've come up with five reasons why you should be looking for "the one" during your college years:
1. A significant other can be your support system
A boyfriend or girlfriend should not only be your lover, but also your best friend. How many times have you had a bad day and your best bro or BFF4ever didn't answer your texts or phone call and you just needed someone to talk?
I can't tell you how many times I've left The Spectrum office crying because of a rough day or how many times a fight with my mom has left me screaming that I want to move out. And having that one person you know will be there through thick and thin makes life seem not as dark and scary. You have someone to hold your hand through it all and talk you down from rash decisions.
And who else would answer their phone at 2 a.m. because you can't sleep? Your mother certainly won't.
2. Your sexual needs will always be filled
Let's be real for a second: one of the biggest pluses of a relationship is the access you have to sexual pleasure almost any time you want. Feeling sexually frustrated? Call up your significant other. The reason they're with you is because somehow he or she finds you attractive. This, if your relationship is healthy and you're both ready and willing, leads to nights that leave the bed rocking.
There's no need to be texting every girl in your phone to get some action (and every text past midnight time can be considered a "booty call"). One-night stands are unfulfilling after the action and can lead to more complicated (or hurt) feelings. Is one night of sexual bliss worth the awkwardness the morning after? Or is it worth the strange situation of friends with benefits?
Hit it, but don't quit it. Sex with someone you love – or at least really, really like – is better than nameless, stranger sex.
3. The chase is exhausting
You know what? Some mornings I don't like to shower, and sometimes jeans are just way too constricting. Being in a relationship allows me to go out in public without washing my hair or putting make-up on my face – obviously someone already thinks I'm alluring enough to be with me. I don't need to impress anyone.
Getting "pretty" every single day is exhausting, and in the end, a false representation of myself. And trying to make the cute boy in my English class fall for me is too much work. I'd rather know I have someone I want – who wants to be a perpetual player?
4. You always have a date for those boring occasions
Mom's best friend's stepdaughter is getting married and you're expected to make an appearance? If you were single, you would probably be hounded by the crazy groomsman who smells like beef jerky. Now who wants that? If you have a significant other by your side, you dodge the creeps and can spend the night dancing away with someone who won't judge your moves.
And along with this comes someone who can hang out for a boring night at home. Netflix, a bowl of popcorn, and snuggling on the couch? So relaxing, and what you need if your BFFs4ever are too busy slutting it up at the club.
5. Everyone loves a good cuddle
To reiterate my last point, a good spooning session never hurt anyone. I can't just walk up to any guy on the street and ask him to be my big spoon.
No, first you need a solid and intimate connection. I am the first to argue that a good cuddle session is more intimate and loving than any sex can ever be. It takes a lot of trust and comfort to lie down next to someone to do nothing more than embrace each other, and even maybe take a nap.
And you can't deny that your full bed is too big for one, and winter nights in Buffalo can be chilly. Your significant other is the perfect cure-all.
Whether you're on month one or year nine, spending your nights and days with someone by your side can lead to more happiness. Just knowing someone out in the world cares for you and is there for you is more rewarding than hooking up with that cute guy you met five minutes ago at the bar.
As Mumford & Sons once said: love, it will not betray you, dismay or enslave you; it will set you free.
Email: rebecca.bratek@ubspectrum.com
