Grade: C-
Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tidesrecently made port in movie theaters nationwide and, suffice to say, the franchise has seen smoother sailing.
The latest installment in the Pirates series sees Captain Jack Sparrow (Johnny Depp, Rango) hunting down the fabled fountain of youth. It's soon revealed that Sparrow isn't the only one setting course for the fountain; enter the legendary Captain Blackbeard (Ian McShane, The Sorcerer's Apprentice) and the film's biggest let down of a character.
Through eerily told legends and the palpable shock each character exhibits at the mere mention of Blackbeard's name, anyone watching On Stranger Tides will have a fairly intimidating vision of the famed pirate before he even makes his on-screen debut. When he finally does, it's a horrendous upset. Blackbeard is neither frightening nor brutal. In fact, he's almost likable. It needs to be said that this comes at no fault of McShane. The character as a whole is actually a reflection of the film's biggest problem – the writing.
The script attempts to capture the witty and light hearted dialogue of the earlier installments but never achieves full mast. The jokes only register a few hearty chuckles throughout and the conversations are drier than a marooned pirate ship.
The writers also hoped to make up for the absence of the Orlando Bloom and Kiera Knightly love story by sloppily tacking on a new one. This time around the love focus is on the devout Christian Philip (Sam Clafin, United) and his mermaid crush Syrena (Astrid Bergès-Frisbey, The Well Digger's Daughter), but both characters are so underdeveloped that the blooming love between them is about as interesting to watch as an anchor rusting.
Shockingly enough, even Depp fails to deliver as the iconic Jack Sparrow. He doesn't do such a terrible job that he deserves to walk the plank over it, but the original spark that came from watching his eccentric portrayal has been extinguished. Watching him on screen you can't help but get the sense that he's almost as tired of playing the role as most are of watching it.
Still, the movie isn't all bad andOn Stranger Tides isn't without a few buried treasures.
The action sequences throughout the film are exciting enough, especially a particularly well executed mermaid attack scene that will have you avoiding open water like you had just seen Jaws for the first time, or some strange demented version of Splash.
At times, though, the adventurous antics from Sparrow & co. can be overly choreographed and be more representative of a dance than actual combat. While escaping from London, for instance, Sparrow pulls off some fancy footwork and is able to elude his captors in a daring feat of swinging from a chandelier. Apart from being a rather cliché bit of filmmaking, this scene is just downright awful. Approximately 20 armed guards merely watch, dumbfounded, as Sparrow escapes when a single musket shot could've put him down.
The best part of the film is the return of the infamous Barbossa (Geoffrey Rush, The Warrior's Way) who's given up his rum swiggin' days in exchange for tea sipping by joining the British navy. From beginning to end, Barbossa maintains an air of mystery about him that viewers can't quite put their finger on. Not to mention the man now sports a peg leg in true pirate fashion.
After the cannon smoke has cleared and the credits roll, Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides manages to pass itself off as an OK movie at best. Its mindless action scenes and special effects manage to keep viewers entertained, but the shoddy writing keeps it from ever truly grabbing the audience. If there is any sign of a new Pirates of the Caribbean on the horizon, it might be best to tie up the writers and toss them over board before setting sail, savvy?
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