How did my winter break go? Well, let's see: I spent most of my time working at a job that I loathe, my best friend and I are no longer speaking, I didn't get more than three hours of sleep a night and I'm broke. FML.
Everyone is allowed an FML moment once in a while, and everyone is entitled to a moan and a groan here and there, and sometimes you just need to vent your frustrations.
No one likes working. It sucks, and what's worse is when you're overworked and underpaid.
I work at the busiest department in a grocery store – the deli. Almost every day of break, I dealt with the most unpleasant customers, including crying babies, whiny kids, grouchy old men and neurotic moms, just to name a few.
On top of that, I ran on little to no sleep. For whatever reason, I just can't sleep anymore. I tried everything: calming chamomile tea, reading instead of watching TV before bed, going to bed early, going to bed when I'm tired and counting sheep. My friend even tried singing me lullabies, and that was a bust.
And my best friend hates my guts. Apparently, I'm a backstabber. Ouch.
What's even more awkward is that I work with her, and the tension at work could be cut with a knife. All of our coworkers know that something is up, but they just don't want to say anything about it … to our faces, anyway.
Oh, did I mention that I'm going broke? I blew all of my paychecks on frivolous things, like cute shoes, purses, snacks, and outings with friends. After I buy my books for this semester, which will probably come to over $400, I'll be broke.
I thought that these last few weeks would be heaven for me, a time when I could kick my shoes off and relax. Instead, it turned out to be a punch in the face, and I should have seen it coming.
But you know what? Sometimes you just have to accept what life throws your way, no matter how hard it hits you.
The bad things in life can even wake you up and make you confront your own reality – what you like about it, what you don't like and what you want to change.
One thing that I learned on break is to look at the positive. Yeah, my job sucks. But what other place would work around my crazy school schedule? They always honor my requests off, no questions asked, and those I work with keep me on my toes and are the most hilarious people I have ever met.
I'm also learning that I need to manage my money better. My parents are helping to pay for my education. I didn't ask them to, they wanted to. They unselfishly think of their children first, and because of that I think I could probably forego a couple of shopping trips to the mall to contribute more to my tuition.
You should be able to take a punch here and there, but you should not be someone else's punching bag. This winter break I discovered a lot about my friendship with my best friend. Friendship is definitely a two-way street, and if one person is not willing to meet you halfway, then maybe it's just not worth the drive.
As for the whole sleeping thing? I figured it out: I'm stressed and I analyze every little thing to death. My brain won't turn off because I worry too much and keep sweating the small stuff.
This is perhaps my most serious problem—sweating the small stuff. The rest kind of seems trivial in comparison. You won't have your part-time job forever, money comes and goes, and so do relationships, but you're really nothing without a good head on your shoulders and a clear mind.
Winter break is a time to rejuvenate and it can provide students with a chance to reflect on personal relationships, spend more time with family, take a step back and look at yourself, and focus on what truly matters in life. It did for me.
As twisted as it sounds, sometimes the FMLs are blessings in disguise. Every complaint, frustration and groan is an opportunity to step back and ask, Is anything missing? What do I need to do differently? Is all this frustration worth it?
And that is when I need to stop complaining, look at the positives and do something to change those FMLs into <3MLs.
E-mail: jessica.brant@ubspectrum.com
