They may look like dimwits and act like imbeciles, but don't let that fool you. They're liberals.
They lie. They smell. They open their mouths before thinking. They're quick to tell everyone else how to think. They thrive on conspiracy theories. They've been known to eat babies (i.e. Hillary Clinton). And to them, showering is optional.
Who else could we be talking about other than the University at Buffalo's growing population of dumbass liberals?
It's no secret that UB is saturated with bleeding heart, anti-this and pro-that liberal activists quick to pick up a half-assed picket sign and bite the head off of anyone (or anything) that doesn't agree with their nonsense.
Thank God there are people at this university like Vice President of Student Affairs Dennis Black, a levelheaded, sound-minded conservative who loves small children.
We at The Spectrum applaud Black's efforts to establish a liberal student quota, limiting the amount of propaganda-spewing pinheads on campus.
But does Black's proposed policy go far enough? Perhaps not.
Take for instance the case of UB's large Long Island-native population, all of whom enter UB as honorable, George W. Bush-loving, troop-supporting Americans.
No sooner do these innocent transplants begin their college careers here than their heads are filled with untruths ejaculated from the mouths of pigheaded professors living in their own little fantasy world.
We encourage Black and his fellow administrative officials to amend the proposed policy to include the establishment of a new vice presidential position - the Vice President of Conservative Affairs.
The individual charged with leading this esteemed office shall coordinate efforts to disseminate the right information to our student body and thwart the immoral endeavors UB's faculty.
We suggest installing a conservative stalwart such as distinguished professor Him Jolstun in this prominent position. Jolstun would bring a much-needed balance to our left-leaning ways.
The university setting is no place to bombard people with new ideas that may challenge the truths they have come to believe.
While it is popularly believed that everyone has the right to believe what they want in America, keeping those beliefs to yourself is something that all liberals need to learn - and where better to learn this valuable lesson than at UB?
Photo: Courtesy of Laron Fomby
