The following contributed: Robert Pape, editor in chief; Christopher Caporlingua, creative director; Silas Rader, senior managing editor; Peter Rizzo, editorial editor; Thomas Halleck, senior news editor and James Raymond, news editor.
Wisconsin police chief tickets himself $235
"And yet my inspection has been up for five months... still no ticket." (JR)
"...and makes quota for the month." (CC)
"It would have been higher, but he flirted with himself first." (RP)
Fake employer steals women's urine samples
"He probably has a real desk job with a lot of coffee to spike." (SR)
"Wonder what his fake name was?" (JR)
"That's 'Store Manager' I.P. Freely to you." (RP)
"That reminds me of the time I got a 'free testicular exam' from a guy in the Student Union. I'm never taking free candy from those tables again." (TH)
Chewbacca impersonator arrested for Hollywood head-butting
"They're just lucky he let them keep their arms." (TH)
"Next time, let the wookie win." (CC)
"What they don't tell you is that it was after a rough game of Dungeons and Dragons."(JR)
Coach fired after 'check your manhood' talk
"It was a women's basketball coach." (CC)
"Blame the language barrier. The central European coach was actually celebrating 'Czech, your manhood!'"(RP)
Woman fakes heart attack to scare off intruder
"Just something else fakes to tell a man to stop..."
(Basically everyone's response, somehow or another)
Hungary plans to convert jails to luxury hotels
"Thanks to Albany, our prisons are already luxury hotels." (PR)
"They had to upstage the United States, who turned theirs into college dorms." (SR)
Moscow mayor gets bruise, black eye
"In Soviet Russia, stairs fall down you!" (RP)
"Lesson: don't pick up Russian strippers." (JR)
Burglars put barking dog in freezer
"You don't want to know what happened to the cat." (JR)
"At least they didn't thaw him out on a grill." (PR)
"It should have tried faking a heart attack too..." (RP)
Photo: Courtesy of Laron Fomby
