Dane Cook's career in stand-up comedy may be building momentum, but his new film sputters and coughs like a worn-out '79 Mercury Monarch.
"Employee of the Month," directed by Greg Coolidge ("Sorority Boys"), is a comedy about the daily grind at a bulk-bargain store called Super Club (think Sam's Club or BJ's).
The storyline follows the same, trite comedy format audiences have been subjected to for decades - an uninitiated yet somewhat charismatic loser decides to surmount obstacles for the sake of a girl while a menacing-yet-bumbling adversary throws extra hurdles his way.
Zack (Dane Cook) is a slacker at the bottom of the competitive Super Club hierarchy who falls for new cashier Amy (Jessica Simpson, "The Dukes of Hazzard"). Zack must compete with overachiever Vince (Dax Shepard, "Zathura") for job recognition and the girl.
The film marks Coolidge's first attempt at directing a full-length feature on his own, and his efforts are somewhat visible. Almost all of the action takes place inside Super Club, yet it doesn't feel claustrophobic and the actors are at times believable in their worn-out, prototypical roles.
Cook can be rather amusing in his physically expressive stand-up comedy routine. However, don't let this mislead you - Cook didn't write "Employee of the Month." The only aspects of the film that resemble his style are a handful of painful-looking, slapstick collisions between hard objects, faces and groins.
It is Coolidge's writing that cripples the film. Coolidge, along with the equally inexperienced Don Calame ("Hounded") and Chris Conroy ("Amiga Forever"), offer an egregiously dull screenplay. The movie drags along for almost an hour before anything happens that is really worth laughing at.
Zack's coworker buddies include a near-blind optometrist named Lon (Andy Dick, ("Love Hollywood Style"), and the token foreign guy of indistinguishable ethnicity named Iqbal (Brian George, "Bubble-Boy"). Russell (Harland Williams, "Hot Tamale") is Zack's dimwitted friend. Williams plays a character fairly similar to the one that he played in "Half Baked," sans pot.
These three characters do an adequate job counter-pointing the main character, helping to illuminate his metamorphosis from loafer to model employee. Russell describes Zack's new change in an appropriate metaphor: "You're like the drummer from REO Speedwagon. No one even knows who you are man."
The movie's running gags get a few laughs. Vince's heavy-handed, over-confident approach to women saves a few scenes, as do the subtle power dynamics between him and lackey sidekick, Jorge (Efren Ramirez, "Napoleon Dynamite").
The only two female roles are the cashier Amy and Zack's live-in grandmother. Jessica Simpson's attempt to come across as more than two-dimensional is passable, while innocent, potty-mouthed Granny (Barbara Dodd, "Remember My Name") continuously steals scenes from the lead character.
A high point comes from Simpson's atrociously delivered, titular line, "You employee of the months are all the same!"
"Employee of the Month" attempts to do for retail clerks what "Waiting" did for servers, but a bad script and a lot of wasted talent ruin the film before long before reaching the checkout.
Photo: Courtesy of Laron Fomby
