The storyline grim

They say that you should never mix your drinks.

In the case of the new Terry Gilliam flick "The Brothers Grimm," the same warning should be applied to mixing genres. The overkill of superfluous special effects, the inappropriate slapstick comedy, and the muddled plot leaves the audience with a horrible case of the spins.

Loosely based on the real Brothers Grimm, William and Jacob Grimm are well known collectors of folklore who move from town to town seeking new additions. They are portrayed onscreen as con artists who find trouble when they come face-to-face with a real fairy-tale curse.

Unfortunately, their adventures do not match the dark intrigues and clever humor of the original brothers. Played by Matt Damon and Heath Ledger, the two brothers' presentation on screen is superb; they just had to work with a terrible script.

The plot sounds intriguing, in theory; a witch lures children from a small village into the forest, and the two brothers document the stories of Little Red Riding Hood, Hansel and Gretel, and the Gingerbread Man.

Somehow though, any trace of audience enchantment is drained by the Hollywood shellacking of these classic stories. The movie jumps from story to story, too choppy to build any suspense or connection to the characters. There is action scene after action scene, which becomes a chore to watch when there is no motive for any of the characters' decisions. Clearly, whoever had a hand in the script should have it sliced off.

The special effects are just as overwrought. Before one can absorb the fact that someone was just disemboweled by a moving tree, the effects artists are going to town with wolf transformations and horses devouring young children. The creative approach to the fairy tales is impressive, but the scenes offer no suspense or in-depth explanations.

It's an unfortunate case, as Damon and Ledger play off one another brilliantly, a shining point throughout the film. Still, superb acting and a militia of special effects don't compensate for a poor story and bad direction.

Then there are the jokes. The movie is plagued with a constant stream of quips and puns that completely kill any mystique the tale may possess. It's not a unique and subtly dark humor, as is the case with other Gilliam movies like "Time Bandits," "Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas," or "The Adventures of Baron Munchausen." The film is just a confused adolescent that can't decide whether it wants to be dark or slapstick.

Take the overused joke with the toad. In the forest that the Grimm brothers are exploring, there's a clearing with a castle. When they go to examine it, the trees move and their path home is blocked. The main female character Angelika, played by Lena Headly, demonstrates that they need to lick Grandma Toad on the back so the amphibian will point to the correct path.

Of course, at least five oral sex jokes ensue. At one point Will asks the toad "how she would like it," and the frog actually flips over on its back and spreads its legs.

Were it another movie like Gilliam's "Monty Python and the Holy Grail," the over-the-top hilarity would have been fitting. However, the joke was completely out of place in the context of the fairy-tale theme and compromised the dark mood the screenwriters had tried to create. Unfortunately, such is the brand of humor that prevails throughout the two hours of cinema torture.

The whole movie was just another spoof on fairy tales, a concept already done many times over. It might have worked for movies like "Shrek," where the intent was clearly satirical and lighthearted.

For this work, they just used the same stale approach to a completely unrelated genre and slapped a famous name on it. Literary works like those of the Brothers Grimm become famous for a reason. The plot can stand on its own - screenwriters don't need to add their asinine brand of humor.

It is even more of a travesty that the normally superb Terry Gilliam produced this confusing and seemingly pointless piece of work. His previous movies have been strange, darkly humorous, an enchanting. "The Brothers Grimm" would seem at first to be a perfect match for his directing abilities.

The film's production was repeatedly postponed for two years, while Miramax co-founder Bob Weinstein changed cast members, pushed for alterations in the original script, and shifted the original intent of the movie.

It certainly shows. The producers had the financial and creative means to take the movie in any direction they wanted. They had a cast full of A-quality actors and lots of material with which to experiment. They just let it get lost in the woods.