A throbbing headache, excruciating bodily pain, a relentless feeling of self-deprecating guilt: for anyone who has suffered these, or any of the crippling symptoms of the hangover, there is finally a beacon of hope and it lies, shockingly, within a book.
"The Wrath of Grapes," Patrick Meanor's literary attempt to cure this all-too-common collegiate malady, is subtitled: "A Complete Hangover Cookbook and Guide to the Art of Creative Suffering." It's just that - an amalgam of cures for what he calls "the 'physical' and 'metaphysical' hangover."
Meanor, an English professor at SUNY-Oswego, hasn't drunk in 27 years, but he possesses a wealth of knowledge on the hangover and its potential cures.
"The Wrath of Grapes," obviously a spoof on the Steinbeck novel, combines countless literary allusions to the hangover, with Meanor's philosophical musings and scientifically based physical cures. He attacks the hangover from all angles.
Meanor's "existential cookbook" is broken down systematically, explaining what food to eat, medicine to take, media to watch, books to read and music to listen to on the morning after drinking too much.
"The Wrath of Grapes" is jam-packed with clever linguistic inventions used to explain the condition of the hangover and how to cure it. The chapter heading, "From Muse-Sick to Music," is one of many examples of the playful vernacular.
Meanor also coins a number of cute and descriptive phrases such as, "the angry mouth syndrome," "coziness quotient" and "hung-over factor," making his book a much more enjoyable read.
Accompanying every chapter is a menu of actual (not existential) food for the hangover victim. Some of Meanor's most common suggestions include, fresh fruit, vanilla ice cream and bacon; all time-tested remedies for the hangover.
Other edible suggestions, such as sweet and sour pork, vinegar-soaked onions and pickled eggs are much less appetizing, but are probably meant to be taken with a grain of salt.
"The Wrath of Grapes" is undoubtedly written for college students. Meanor blends a massive cross-section of pop culture - everything from Ray Charles to "A Clockwork Orange" - with an intellectual writing style.
In doing so, Meanor guides his young readers through what he calls the 'Four C's': "consciousness, chemicals, cosmetics and creativity," in order for them to obtain the coveted fifth C: a cure.
Some collegiate readers may find a few gripes with "The Wrath of Grapes." Most of the films and even many of the television programs Meanor prescribes are between three and seven decades old and might leave even the clear-headed a bit bored. Out of his top-20 recommended films, nine were made before 1950, while only three after 1980.
Also, some of Meanor's reading suggestions, such as an atlas or a world almanac, are over-simplified and a bit degrading to even the most hung-over. His critical suggestions lose some of their humor at times, simply because of the fact that this book doesn't tell a story. Meanor clearly states it is a cookbook. It should be used when needed, for "ideas, schemes, plans and remedies."
Meanor can be forgiven for his antiquated tastes and embraced for some of the unfamiliar media, books and music he suggests. This is, after all, Meanor's goal in writing "The Wrath of Grapes:" to intellectually stimulate the hung-over mind.
Steinbeck's "The Grapes of Wrath" used grapes to symbolize some of the woes of the Depression era. Perhaps, it was Meanor's intention in writing "The Wrath of Grapes" to use the hung-over condition to symbolize the apathy of the youth of the current era and simultaneously cure this annoying physical ailment.
Photo: Courtesy of Laron Fomby
