As holidays pass every year, it's interesting to see which films make it to their crucial deadline, and which do not.
"Seed of Chucky," for example, was obviously intended to come out sometime before Halloween, not in mid-November.
"Blade: Trinity" can probably be chalked up to similar error. Is one to believe it was kept in the vault just waiting to spring its spectacle on an unexpecting Actor's Guild for an Oscars sweep? Or did the studio think it'd make a better Christmas seasonal? Not likely.
So the release doesn't make sense. But "Blade" Inc. had bigger tasks in mind.
The opening scene finds space-suited men, and a woman, marching the steps to an ancient desert tomb. The viewer knows they are vampires because one gives the sun the proverbial "bird" before setting foot inside the tomb.
The leading female vampire, Talos, played by Parker Posey ("Waiting for Guffman") proves her intellect by denoting that the "chicken scratch" her less worldly associate refers to on the wall is actually cuneiform. After doing so, she unleashes a savage beast that kills her Mr. Spock-like character. It is soon told that this beast is Dracula.
In a vampire film, Dracula is royalty. More than that, he is their Adam, the original, most blood-pure. The vampires intend to use his blood to advance their species. This is what Blade, played by Wesley Snipes ("Passenger 57") and company must face.
His group in "Trinity" is broadened by The Nightstalkers, lead by Abigail Whistler, daughter of Abraham Whistler, played by Jessica Biel ("Texas Chainsaw Massacre") and Hannibal King, played by the unlikely Ryan Reynolds.
How does one modernize a classic horror character like Frankenstein's Monster or the Mummy, or in the case of "Blade: Trinity," Dracula? For director David S. Goyer the first part of that answer is to shorten the name - to Drake. Apparently, in his mind, today's instant-everything culture requires that no character's name exceed two syllables. Abbreviations are so badass, viewers can hardly help but soil their britches.
Not really. The name "Dracula" gives the villain such a commanding presence. Chop it down to Drake, and what remains is about as inherently threatening as Mike. Mikey likes it. No he doesn't.
Otherwise, aside from some obligatory cheesy moments and counter-effective "technical" jargon that are present in all mid-budget action films, the third Blade installment is relatively enjoyable. Relative to this year's other sci-fi/horror/action flick, "Resident Evil: Apocalypse," it is a triumph of, dare one say, otherworldly proportions.
"Blade: Trinity" is a different beast than its antecedents. The first "Blade" was actually frightening. The suspension of disbelief was admirable, as Frost's proclamation of an underground vampire movement to take over the world seemed plausible. In the second, the screenplay took a backseat to special effects and expansive fight scenes. This time around, the recruitment of "Van Wilder" star Reynolds served to make the film just as much a comedy as any of its other three descriptors.
He gets captured at one point and in the midst of torture, tells his torturers that every Nightstalker gets a locating implant, and that the rest of his team would save him momentarily. His monologue comes to a climax.
"They should be showing up, right, about ... now." Everybody in the room looks around, waits. Reynolds looks around too. "Well, this is a little awkward. Does anybody have a cell phone?"
Jessica Biel brings a look and style similar to Milla Jovovich's in "Resident Evil." More importantly, she brings the goodies, which are showcased tastefully. For the most part, it's just a bare midriff. But what a midriff she has.
There is a shower scene, but it's one of those "my-best-friend-just-died, I-need-someplace-to-curl-into-a-naked-ball" shower scenes, leaving the average male viewer torn between sentiments of arousal and sympathy. Perhaps "torn" isn't the right word. Actually, sympathy really isn't there at all. Suffice it to say, it's not the time to reach into your buddy's lap for the popcorn. Butter, indeed.
The film is entertaining thanks in large part to Reynolds's presence. The special effects prove wanting, and the storyline is pretty convoluted, but moments of the film which make reference to '70s Blaxploitation films, Spaghetti westerns and Chinese martial arts films make it all worthwhile.
