Gay Marriage and John Kerry

During last week's debate moderator Bob Schieffer did not ask John Kerry for his daughters' phone numbers. He did not ask the senator what he was wearing under his dark blue suit. He did not say, "So, Mr. Kerry, Johnny Depp or Orlando Bloom?"

The moderator asked Kerry a simple question about gay marriage. But you would think it was a far more awkward one, judging by the senator's pained response.

Kerry brought up Dick Cheney's daughter, a rare and rude personal attack. Surely Mary Cheney can't be the only gay American Kerry has met. So why, other than for political reasons, would Kerry mention her?

Kerry went on to say, "The president and I share a belief that marriage is between a man and a woman. I believe that. I believe marriage is between a man and a woman." It was as if he was trying to convince himself he was right.

John Edwards fumbled the same question during the V.P. debate. He also brought up Ms. Cheney, mawkishly praising the Cheneys for loving her even though she's gay. Edwards's tone was unsettling. Of course they love her. She's their daughter.

She likes girls. It's not as if she killed anyone.

I think the two Democrats tripped over themselves because they feel cornered on gay marriage. They want to support it, but their advisors say it's a big gamble.

That risk might be a good enough reason not to advocate for gay marriage in the heat of the campaign or during the first 100 days of their tenure. But in the long term, Kerry and Edwards should support gay marriage because it is a matter of civil rights.

Few of us were not shocked the day we learned that interracial marriage was banned in over a dozen states as recently the late '60s. Loving v. Virginia (1967) struck down the last of these hateful laws. In what conservatives say about gay marriage today, one hears echoes of what Virginia said against interracial marriage 40 years ago.

They said God did not intend the races to intermarry. They said it would wreck homes and childhoods. They said it would end the institution of marriage as we knew it. Sound familiar?

Furthermore, the basic element of a civil right -- the freedom to choose -- underlies both cases. In the Loving decision, Justice Warren wrote, "Marriage is one of the 'basic civil rights of man,' fundamental to our very existence and survival."

Warren did not just mean that the freedom to marry was a civil right, because black Virginians in the '60s, like gay Americans today, already had freedom to marry. The civil right is the freedom to choose who you will marry.

That's not to say the Supreme Court will rule in favor of gay marriage tomorrow, this year, or even in the next four years. While they often interpret the Fourteenth Amendment to protect civil rights of minority groups, the Court has not always included gay people among those groups.

But recent rulings suggest that American courts are moving in that direction. Romer v. Evans ruled against many of Colorado's anti-gay laws. The Massachusetts Supreme Court ruled the state could not prohibit gay marriage because the freedom to marry someone of your own choosing is a basic civil right.

Bush often whines that "activist judges" are changing the definition of marriage. But marriage is evolving because our society is evolving. Judges are simply noticing that anti-gay marriage laws are out of step with the times in an unconstitutional way.

Bush also forgets that the most important part of marriage - in the words of the Massachusetts court, "solemn obligations of exclusivity, moral support, and commitment to one another" - are not threatened by gay marriage.

And if Bush ever sees the need to gripe about the nine justices of the Supreme Court, he should remember how he got his job.

Those who fought interracial marriage in the late '60s had their Bushes on their side. Lucky for us we had our Kennedys, Lyndon Johnsons and Martin Luther Kings -- people who knew that Americans were inherently good people who could be inspired to fight for civil rights.

When Kerry balances the budget and cleans up the mess in Iraq, America will be ready to talk seriously about gay marriage.

Forty years from now, we'll wonder why we ever kept gays from getting married. And hopefully we'll be able to say that we're lucky we had Kerry.