"Smashin' In My Guts, Man"

"Poor man wanna be rich.

Rich man wanna be king.

And a king ain't satisfied 'til he rules everything."

-Bruce Springsteen

It's safe to say that I have been waiting my entire life for the show I'm going to witness Saturday when the Vote For Change tour rolls into Gund Arena in Cleveland with Bright Eyes, R.E.M. and Bruce Springsteen and the E-Street Band.

To put this in perspective, these are the five things I've most looked forward to in my life:

5) Super Bowl XXV: Bills vs. Giants

4) 2000 Stanley Cup Finals, Sabres vs. Stars

3) 2002 World Cup soccer, USA vs. Germany

2) Kenmore East vs. Clarence in Section VI soccer '99

1) The Boss, R.E.M. in C-Town, Oct. '04

Furthermore, the show bumped Pearl Jam from the Top Five. This singular show combines so many different aspects of my life that my heart very well may stop sometime during "Born to Run."

First off, this whole "Vote For Change" nonsense is right up my alley. I'm not sure if you've heard, but our President's administration has done some pretty shady things and those of us "in the know" are supporting the Democratic candidate in this November's election.

Apparently, the Boss is too! Who knew?

Something drew me to Springsteen at an early age. One of my earliest memories was driving with my father in his 1978 Datsun and "Born In the USA" playing on his car radio. It was my first cassette tape, "my" being an arbitrary term because, at age 4, Mom and Pops were still buying me the hot rock. In my teens, I found "Nebraska," a record he made the year I was born. It transformed my view of music into one that appreciated acoustic and country music.

There is something distinctly Buffalo about Springsteen. Sure, everyone makes a great deal about his songs for Vietnam vets, working class heroes and people treading the poverty line, and that makes his music blue collar universal, but the way he phrases words and the way he sings with a hint of bitter cold and un-extinguished hope is distinctly Buffalonian.

Just like any good Bills fan.

I realize the parallels between Asbury Park and my hometown, no pun intended. I know this because when my band was on tour in Nashville, I spent one of my last dollars on a Bruce Springsteen vanity driver's license. Sure, it doesn't really afford me any profit, but it does give my driver's class a sweet "Rock Legend" status.

As for rock legends, is it possible that there is any more appropriate second act for this show than R.E.M.? Michael Stipe, on top of being one of the classiest looking gentlemen of our time, has had such a profound effect on the alternative rock soundscape that it would not be too far out of line to insist that many of today's good indie and rock bands would be lacking a necessary musical intelligence had Stipe never graced the stage.

Stipe has this distinct charisma that cannot be duplicated or faked. It is simply stunning. Even when he was prancing around in terrible outfits in the music videos for "Stand" and "Shiny Happy People" with Kate Pierson of the B-52s, there was this necessary respect he demanded.

Bowler hat? Check.

Ruffled shirt? Check.

Suspenders? Check.

Short pants? Check.

Respect? You betcha.

Not to mention that R.E.M.'s new album - review forthcoming - could be a new "Automatic for the People." Everyone gets too excited about albums on their first listen, but "Around the Sun" is breathtaking at first listen. The same way that "The Sidewinder Sleeps Tonight" and "Nightswimming" stole my heart immediately, "Leaving New York" and "The Ascent of Man" grip from the get-go and refuse to release. Lest we forget that Q-Tip is on the track "Outsiders." Yes, that's right, Q-Tip of a little hip-hop group called A Tribe Called Quest.

This is the exact look on my face when it was announced that Bruce Springsteen and R.E.M. were going to be at the exact same show:

That's right: Christmas Day in August. I almost soiled more underpants than Milton Berle on a bad day. I can talk about "good" hardcore until my head caves in, but let's face facts: anyone with patience and rhythm can "chugga chug" until their mosh arms break. Springsteen and Stipe are songwriters, two of the greatest of all time.

So this Saturday, after the 5 and 6 year-old St. Amelia Pirates that I coach do in some dubious foes of the same age group from a different parochial school, I will get in my car, pick up my best girl and hightail it to Cleveland and find out the answer to a question I have always pondered.

What is the frequency, Kenneth?